You're not alone

That's who I am

Yesterday I came back to school and it wasn't that amazing I was expecting. He wasn't here and I felt disappointed because I really wanted to see him. It would be perfect to tell him a thank you for everything he's done.

Today I think I should invite him again to do our homework together but I'm not sure yet if I am gonna see him or if he is gonna agree but I will try, I've got nothing to lose anyway. The only thing that makes nervous is that I might look like I've got a obsession with him which is kinda true but I don't want him to feel that way. He is the only one who I don't want him to think that I am a weirdo.

I walk into the classroom and I realize that I am alone. It would be really funny if I sang "Mr lonely" though. It's also pretty weird the fact that he isn't here yet. He always the first one who gets in the classroom every morning. Did anything happen to him?

"Ohayo.."

"Hi Yuto! How're you doing?"

He doesn't answer, he looks stressed about something and I am scared that I might have nailed my feelings by my expressions and actions. No no no it's not that, it's something different, I'm sure! For the short time I have known him, he wouldn't react like this because he is too innocent to understand how awkward is to talk with someone who likes you. But that's my opinion in the end.

He sits in his seat and I'm still trying to figure out why did he react like this. If he doesn't like the fact of how much of a lonely person I am then I've got some news from him, HE IS WAY WORSE!!

"Good morning class, open your books please!"

Crap, teacher got in. I'm not finished thinking about his actions before. The game isn't over until I decide it! The lesson starts and I can't take my eyes of him, not only because of my feelings but also because I kinda feel hurt. Yes, I know I'm being dramatic but I hadn't seen that coming from him.

It's time to have a break, I go to my usual place and I'm waiting for Yuto to come and talk to me like he does every day. Last time he came with his sketchbook and he showed me one comic which he made. There was one part of the comic which had a garden of roses and margarets. It was really beautiful and I could even feel the smell of the flowers. He said he was inspired by my sketchbook and from me because I like these flowers.

Yuto is coming, I wave at him, I'm waiting to wave at me back but he doesn't... He looked away with an awkward expression. What the actual fuck? That's really unexpected. Why on earth did he do that, I thought I'm hiding my feelings pretty much well. And if he actually knows then why is he staying away from me? Have I done anything wrong???

[Time skip to the end of the school day]

This is by far the worst day ever... And probably the most weird. Why Yuto, why?! I thought you were a cool kid, an uwu one but cool! Why can't you play it cool with your friend who has a crush on you? Ok if he actually has a problem I don't give a shit. If he actually feels awkward around me then just leave dude! If he stopped feeling easy with me because I just have a crush on him he would just tell me that he doesn't feel the freaking same!!!

I don't want to change, I don't want to change just because he doesn't like me! I'll only change if I want to and if I need to do it for myself. I'll never change, I will stay the same bitch as I am now. With weird sketches of flower dresses, with my old music and with my pathetic self of being lonely. I don't need anyone!!! FUCK THEM ALL!!!!

Hello everyone PENNY-SAN69 here and I'd like to apologize for the long time with no new chapters lol. I'm having a really tough time right now and I'd like to inform you for a new piece of work from me.
A really depressing one 💀