209-Dizzy

For Once

I told Ashton everything that day.

I told him about being forced to go days without eating, as punishment.

I told him about the other types of punishment that were used.

The kind that left marks.

I told him about what happened when dads friends came over.

And everything he let them do.

I told him about being forced to take medication, when they were tired of me being awake.

That's why I was so afraid of all of them, when I first came to this hospital.

By the time I had finished telling Ashton, all that I had been forced to live with, he had tears in his eyes.

Before we had started, he had asked me if he could record the session.

And I had agreed.

I learned what being treated kindly was like, and I had learned what real love felt like.

And I no longer wanted to live in the fake stuff, that I'd been forced to accept.

That tape, held my ticket to freedom.

And Ashton was my getaway car.

He didn't say much, after I had finished.

We sat in silence for a minute, before he stood and opened his arms.

I didn't hesitate to fall into them.

Ashton hugged me tighter than ever before.

After awhile, he got the hint that I wasn't letting go anytime soon, so he guided us both back down to the floor.

We sat, him holding me, and me sobbing, for at least an hour.

And for once, I wasn't scared

And for once, I had hope.

And for once,

I felt safe.