Tales From Heller

With One Concerted Spirit

Like most high schools, Heller tried to stay out of politics: its students were too young to understand its subtleties, and its teachers got enough on Facebook. But then Heller's continual operation became a political statement, and then it was time for PTSO elections. Out of the ashes of administrative infighting, a phoenix had emerged: Harland "Fireball" McGee was a small-town outsider with big dreams, a burning hatred for all Silicon Valley stood for, and political views that were last acceptable in the 19th century.

Harland had no particular opinion on what was happening at Heller, although if he had thought to process what was currently happening in the school district instead of spouting vitriol over critical race theory and the "sissification" inherent in considering phasing out tackle football, he would undoubtedly have an opinion. Nevertheless, his proposed policies, including but not limited to banning the pride flag, mandating the Pledge of Allegiance even without an authoritarian regime already supporting it, and defunding school counseling services made him many enemies across the district, including within Heller's student body.

Frank, who had already considered funding a smear campaign against Harland, had received word that a school walkout was planned to protest the mere possibility of his election. This walkout had urgency to it: Harland was rapidly gaining supporters throughout the county who saw themselves disenfranchised in their kids' education. Alan had heard of this too, and had approached Frank before school in a panic:

"Frank, you can't let these people get away with it!"

"Get away with what, Alan? Use your words."

"Stealing the election! The walkout tomorrow. Imagine how weak we're going to look if suddenly during sixth period, the entire school stops what they're doing and heads downtown. Even the teachers are going to go. Imagine what they're going to say: weak Frank couldn't even stop a bunch of freshmen from protesting. Imagine how humiliated I would be."

To Alan, this walkout meant more than a loss at Heller. There was something charismatic in Harland's speeches, how he pounded a gavel and wore a hat with the Confederate flag, that Alan wished he could emulate. His parents had taken him to one of Harland's rallies outside of city hall, and they played his podcast on the radio. Harland embodied authority, which was something Alan thought he had, and anything that went against Harland was, well, against him. If the walkout were to proceed, Alan would go carrying a megaphone to heckle the protesters.

"Why do you support that man? He's a monster. He makes us look progressive. Our goal is to control Heller, to mold it in our image; our goal isn't to prevent people from worshiping whomever they want or being whomever they want. Adrian wears a dress to school on Fridays—and yes, I overheard you gossiping about it and trying to mark it as a dress code violation—but it's still formal wear. He's free to be whoever he likes as long as he looks stylish doing it. And we're also funding menstrual products in the school bathrooms because it's the right thing to do, and even the Epsilons get them. Harland wants to take that away. He wants to make us go backward without providing anything in return."

"I don't think you're getting what Harland stands for. You agree on many things! Take the Pledge, for example. Harland says schools are taking it away because they hate America. That's why nobody else in the school district does it. But you brought back the Pledge because you said you love America! And that's why we have everything else too, because we love America." Frank was being especially enigmatic today, Alan thought—this must be another one of his riddles.

"I love America too. America means freedom. It doesn't mean constricting students. If Harland gets on the board, even if all his proposals are outvoted, it's a symbolic statement. It means we, as education officials, don't care to protect every student we represent, because students clearly have identities that Harland disapproves of! If Harland saw Adrian the other day, he would use some words I would never repeat myself, and that goes for even students who are quieter about their identities, but who know that if Harland has his way, they would be seen as less than people."

"But how is that different from making people wear dunce caps or sit on the floor?"

"Those are privileges. Harland wants to remove rights. I don't want to repeat myself too much, since I think we could spend hours here going around in circles, but we are not going to support Harland. You're a sheltered, pasty white boy who lives in a big house and spends his free time reading Elon Musk tweets. It might not be clear to you today why we aren't supporting Harland, but you are going to have an epiphany someday and laugh at how immature your high school self was. If this is unclear, go sit down with someone who isn't a carbon copy of yourself and have lunch. Sharing a meal is the best way to find common humanity between people. Don't even talk about politics. Talk about your shared classes, the weather, anything, and if they feel like discussing Harland, listen with an open mind. Don't try to correct them or debate, or force them to talk about something they are uncomfortable with—because of course they'll be uncomfortable. There's more to what we're doing here than simply bullying our classmates. We will be attending the walkout, and holding a banner, and handing out water bottles. If you don't want to participate, you can stay at school and be the only person in your empty classrooms, and engage in a bit of self-reflection about how much better you are than us for being a martyr for the cause."

The bell rang to herald the start of class, and while Alan could have stayed to talk to Frank longer, most likely to deny his own complicity or say that there were many good Harland supporters just like there were many good anti-Harland protesters, he chose to leave in silence. The day of the walkout, everyone left school as usual and followed the Alphas to the park downtown. Frank, Juliet, and Behrooz held a banner, joined in the chants, and handed out water bottles from a cooler. Alan stood in the back of the crowd, not daring to join the counter-protesters in case someone saw him. When Juliet went on stage and talked about how when Harland said that "American" students could not compete against all the "Asians" who were coming from other countries, she felt that her hard work and mere existence as someone who identified with both were rendered invalid, he remained silent. He did not say to whoever was standing next to him what he had told her the other day, that of course they did well because they went to math tutoring and had tiger parents. And even as all of them walked back to school the way they came, silent with the weight of knowing they had done a noble thing, he did not complain about what a waste of time it was. He did not yet understand why a student presenter had said they prefer to be addressed by the singular "they," or any of the myriad other ideas that threatened his preconception of how the world worked, but there was one thing Alan could understand immediately. Everyone was united under one banner, and Alan was one to believe in majority rule: if everyone could unite to come to the rally, they must be right about something. Perhaps many somethings, he wasn't quite sure.

When Alan got back to school, he peeled off the Harland campaign sticker on his backpack and tossed it in the garbage. He wasn't quite sure if he wanted to completely disavow Harland, but like any other symbolic gesture he tried to implement at Heller, he was sure it was the right thing.

Discussion Questions:

Who or what is Fireball McGee satirizing? When else have we had this sort of political satire?

How can Frank simultaneously be in favor of the club's dictatorship but be against Fireball McGee's policies?

Do you think Alan learned his lesson?