the lowerhand

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never truly at peace during my life
watching it with distraction and uppermost hatred
questioning 'why' with small heart clenched in a weakened fist
he might as well have spiked it with a knife
for the youth that was torn away- wasted
memories which are not mine, will always be missed.

watching endless trauma unfolding poisons such healing
the memory which isn't over may forever taunt me
will i fall regardless of my strife?
i can conquer my own path, but i can't shake the feeling
that this is something which will haunt me
for the rest of my wretched life.

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