Lunga
It's 4am and I can't help but think about how life has changed in the past 4 years, all the things we've done and went through as a family. If my dad told us the Nomkhitha story earlier we would have just searched for her rather than kill innocent people. I was never a heartless person, I believe people make you heartless, ever since I lost the person I loved the most I've never been the same I vowed to never love someone again . My family took her away from me because..."a job is a job, I mustn't put my feelings towards a job" and just like that I murdered my girlfriend, I regret it every single day, sad part I didn't know, no one knew that things will turn out like this. I've tried to convince myself that I can't be mad at my family forever but I can't help it...
A loud bang disturbs my train of thoughts, I look at the time 4:23,I jump of bed and I make my way downstairs, I see nothing out of the ordinary, I decide to go to the kitchen and get something to drink and I see Mvelo's girlfriend sitting on the kitchen table with a laptop and a glass of water next to her. I open the fridge and I take a bottle of water...
"hi" she says in a soft voice
"hi" I say closing the fridge
"why are you up so early?" she asks
I'm not about chit chat especially at this time of the day, I shrug my shoulders and I leave the kitchen
I still don't understand why Mvelo has his girlfriend over all the way from Cape Town, my privacy is everything having a girl over is just not it. I'm wondering if she's okay living with 3 gents it's bizarre
"why are you like this? you can talk to me" keesha
The fuck is going on in this house!
"sorry?" I ask turning around
"you're cold, you're not like other people" Keesha
"so?" Me
"I think you should loosen up a bit" Keesha
Am I being tested or what
"I don't think so, I think you should go back on your laptop and do whatever you were doing" Me
"come on Lunga" Keesha
Saying I am confused is an understatement, what the hell is wrong with people can people just stay in their lane for goodness sake
"listen here..." I try to make a point and she interrupts me
"I was just trying to help you but fine! stay miserable like that!" Keesha
What's wrong with people around here, my life has been in a dark space and the reason is clear my family is cursed, I wanna stay clean, I've done alot of things that I never thought I'll do in my life being led to temptations is not in my bucket list, I just want Thingo and Khetha to get married so I can leave everyone in peace. I get inside my room and I head to the shower which took me less than 10 minutes, I wear my flops with a short and a t shirt, I take my phone on the side of the bed and I go to the garage
"Brother! Please give me a lift" Tumi
I honestly wanted some alone time
"sure" I say opening the door
"listen I don't want a lift, I want us to speak" Tumi
"what's happening?" Me
"I think this Keesha girl is mad" Tumi
"mad? what happened?" I ask trying to be calm
"I saw her laughing alone mjitha! she was laughing like someone told her joke and yet she was alone in the kitchen" Tumi
"are you sure?" Me
"yea I'm sure, I don't know man but that girl is something else" Tumi
"hi"
"Shit!" Tumi says holding a car seat
I nearly got a heart attack , what the heck is going on with this Keesha girl, she's is taking things to the next level
"are you guys going somewhere, I need lift" Keesha
"Mvelo will use his car, he can take you I'm already late sorry" I say driving out the garage
She stares at me with her arms crossed until the car dissappears
.
.
I don't understand why they are weird, they could have just said "no I can't give you a lift". I go back to the house I take my toiletry bag in the drawer and I look for my pills,I can't find them "fuck" I open another drawer, nothing, I'm starting to panic, I take my suitcase and I open the small zip, I see them, I quickly snatch them and I take 2, I then make my way to our bed I slowly lie on my back, I listen to my body, my mind, I imagine myself sitting in a dark hole, I let all the anxiety kick in, all the fear...I close my eyes slowly while trying to gasp for air, I shut my eyes and I let death creep inside my body, I smile it does feel good...
"Keesha!!"
A voice from far disturbs my peace, I ignore it and I focus on listening to my body shutting down
"keesha!!"
"what?" I ask in a low tone, I keep my eyes closed
"what are you doing?" Mvelo asks in a voice full of panic
"what does it look like?" I ask in the same tone but this time around I try to open my eyes
"Keesha we spoke about this, you're not going to fight this alone!, please don't do this" Mvelo
I finally open my eyes and I look at the ceiling
"let me get water for you" Mvelo
"I don't need water" I say standing up slowly
"okay" he leaves the room for about 5 minutes and he comes back with a bottle of water
"I said I don't need water Mvelo!" Me
"come on Keesha, you'll feel better" Mvelo
"I said..." I clench my teeth "I said I don't need water, GET OUT!" I feel anger rising, I try to pull myself together but I can't
"Mvelo get out!" I start crying softly next to the bed
"baby you're okay, you're beautiful, you're literally the best human being" Mvelo
I burst in laughter uncontrollably, I see fear in Mvelo's eyes and my mood changes I start feeling sad and overwhelmed, I run to him
"no no no I didn't mean to scare you I'm sorry" I caress his face and he kisses me slowly, I feel a sense of belonging, I feel accepted, I feel wanted, I feel safe.
YOU ARE READING
Zimpande Zamathongo (unedited)
Ficción GeneralThingo is a city girl that has been constantly hearing whistles from people she can't physically see; since the age of 7. 10 years later her father takes a decision of cutting home schooling and he takes her to a secondary school where things change...
