𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚘 𝚍𝚒𝚎.

◇take my pride◇

"if i don't go to hell when i die i might go to heaven."

"lettin' this end in silence's the most insane plan we could take. that's why i'm gonna say it. in all our searchin' and discussions... who were the biggest burdens, an' the most weak..? kanna, gin, nao... i'm talkin' about you three." you scoffed, hastily putting your hands on the desk in from of you. "you're kidding, right?" he couldn't be serious. "are you shittin' me?! you think you ain't gonna get picked just 'cause you got strength?!" reko seemed almost as mad as you were. before q-taro could say anything else, you raised your voice again.

"seriously? strength? what part of this is fuckin' strong? gin and kanna are kids. nao was grieving, and you're calling them burdens?! you know what's a burden? getting dragged into a fucking death game when you're still learning how to multiply fractions! losing a family member! watching the person you look up to die- those are burdens! maybe you can throw a ball well, but you're one of the weakest people here! what did you do when we were searching, huh? stare at the stairs?! bring a box? if you hadn't brought that box then we wouldn't have put miley together, then mishima wouldn't be fucking dead! gin is half your size and half your age, and he's still stronger than you. you know why?! because he's in the same shitty situation you are, but he's not going around telling people they're useless!"

"then go ahead and vote for me! vote what your will tells ya!! if ya think i'm useless, then take responsibility and kill me! that's what i meant by resolve!!" you were out of breath, it was so fucking hot, was it this hot when you first walked in? "..let's calm down." you turned your head to keiji. "go to hell, shinogi!" you knew he hadn't done anything wrong. you knew that. you knew q-taro was in the same situation you were. you knew he was a victim too. you knew yelling at him only wasted time. you knew. "....nao! kanna! gin! tell him! use your words... prove your worth!!"

"..ah.. i.. i...! i searched the best i could!! and i found things! lots of things!!" gin stayed quiet. "k..kanna..." the young girl stuttered, unable to form a sentence. "gin! if ya don't talk.. it's over..! don't tell me... none of y'all are thinkin' you'd be fine dying, right?!" keiji looked at you again, choosing his words carefully this time. "...looks bad. q-taro is serious." you only sent him another glare. kanna was the first to speak, though it was barely above a whisper. "all of it... it doesn't matter anymore.... f/n.." your heart was pounding. "what's the matter, kanna?" sara looked scared. "...kanna... doesn't... care what happens anymore. even if she's chosen... it's fine." you could swear your heart stopped beating. "wh..... aaaaaat...?!" q-taro seemed especially taken aback.

"she's had... enough... kanna just... wants to go to her sister." you felt like you were gonna vomit. "kanna!! don't be ridiculous!!" reko was leaning against her desk towards the girl. "i'm just... tired." for a second, you were gone. you weren't talking to kanna in a death game, you were fourteen and crying in the mirror. you were tired. "you gotta be kiddin'!! you really wanna die without a peep?!" were you still breathing? "please, wait. miss kanna, are you serious? or is this an act?" did they really think she would fake this? "kanna... won't say anything else... please do what you want." you wanted to call out to her, but you were breathless. "...this is troubling... miss kanna may have drawn the sacrifice card..." no, she couldn't have. she couldn't.

"sacrifice..?!" joe spoke suddenly. "the sacrifice must be chosen to survive. thus, they would put on a one-man show." you wanted to tell kai to shut up, you wanted you tell him how stupid you sounded. but you couldn't move. your mouth wouldn't open. "she's got enough motive that we could believe she wants to die." you wanted keiji to shut up. you didn't want to hear this. she was fourteen. "t-then no pickin' her for now, right..?!" you wanted to hug reko. thank her for saying what you couldn't. "everyone, let's put the subject of kanna aside for now." q-taro shook his head. "...can't know her true intent, after all."