✅ Potty Genius [NaNoWriMo 2022]

Thirty

Author's Note: I'm sorry if there are more typos than usual in this chapter. I wrote it on the train this afternoon, and the sun was shining on my screen for a lot of the journey, which makes it a lot harder to see if what's on the screen is actually what I intended to type. If you see any errors, please let me know!

¿What did the new badge say?

==> 𝙱𝙰𝙳𝙶𝙴: 𝚄𝚗𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚕𝚟𝟷

----> 𝙰𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚋𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢'𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚘𝚛 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞.

----> 𝚆𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚍𝚐𝚎, 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚢 𝙰𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚊 𝚠𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚞𝚙𝚜𝚎𝚝 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚛𝚝𝚜 𝚞𝚗𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢'𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚞𝚛𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚝.

----> 𝚆𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚝: 𝟺 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝟹𝟻 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚜

----> 𝚁𝚎𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚎 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎: 𝟺 𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝟹𝟻 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚜

I looked at that, and I could see so many things that could easily go wrong if I tried wearing that. Sure, it said that I could pay attention to urgent alerts, but how did I define what was important? I didn't know what the rules were, and that was more than enough reason for me to worry. But then a nagging voice in the back of my mind pointed out that two relatively innocent-sounding badges had turned out to make a lot of problems. So perhaps the one that sounded scary wouldn't be too bad when I actually tried it. It was possible to think that might happen, but at the same time I didn't trust the guess enough to actually risk my reputation on it. It could do anything, like making me ignore the reminder before a potty timer unless I was desperate; in which case the timer was sure to lead to an accident.

I couldn't decide. It was just too tough for me. So I opened my desk drawer and pulled out a coin. It was a Brazilian one, I thought, from the only time we had travelled overseas when I was a child. A memento, with an inscription in a language I didn't read. But it had a head on one side, and a tail on the other.

"Heads, I see if the actual risk of a badge is inversely proportional to how scary it sounds," I said. I balanced the coin on my thumb, flipped it up in the air, and scooped it onto the back of my left hand with the right.

"Tails I try the teddy badge again. At least it's a familiar enemy, and I kind of know how I might deal with it, if I can keep my wits about me. I mean, it's not like I..."

I realised that I was trying to justify it to myself, talking more than I needed to. There was no need for that, so I took a deep breath and looked at the coin between my hands.

"Tails." Somehow, it felt more real once I actually said the word, but it didn't make me any more confident about the consequences of that choice. I dragged the teddy badge onto Baby Adrica, and paused to see if it would make me feel any different. I wasn't surprised when that box of purple and teal swirls popped up again, asking me to read and agree to all the terms for the badge. But I was when I found that before I was even hypnotised, the only thing on my mind was how good it felt to focus on the words as my eyes tracked along the first line. My thumb tapped the first 'Yes' button automatically, so sure that I was doing exactly what I wanted to do now. The complex pattern of instructions and questions were as boring as usual, but that didn't really matter because I knew that the more childlike my thoughts got, the less I would have to worry about the boring, grown-up contract.