STURNIOLO TRIPLETS-one shots

ED- Nick

HIIIII
It's been so long I'm sorry!! I've still been here reading but haven't written in sooooo long( writers block is a bitch)Don't worry, I haven't given up on this account :)))
Also TYSMMM for 30k reads??!! That's insane

TW: binge eating disorder, restricting eating disorder, body dysmorphia, negative self talk.

Also I think they're all perfect this is 100% made up

Enjoyyy

                                       *

    At first, it definitely wasn't a big deal.
    Then, it was.
    Nick hated feeling full. But he also hated feeling hungry. And these days, there seemed to be no in-between in the vicious cycle between the two. Whenever Nick looked in the mirror, or his reflection caught his eye in a store window, especially when he was beside his brothers, tears welled up in his eyes. Why was he so huge? Compared to Chris he looked overweight and gross. They were triplets, for god's sake. Shouldn't that mean they looked the same? What had he done to become the fat one, the ugly one?
    Anytime he brought it up to his brothers, complaining about his pants not fitting anymore or needing to stop eating, they would laugh and take it as a joke. Nick would laugh along to, silently pulling a pillow across his stomach and cringing at the knife piercing his heart. Why was he so stupid? Everyone else was able to control their weight. He was just too weak, and gave into his indulgences.
    And that needed to change.

                                      *

    " What do you want for dinner?" Matt asked, loudly slamming open the cupboards. " Mom said there was mac and cheese somewhere in here..."
    " Oh." Nick grimaced and looked up from his computer at the table. " Um- I'm actually not that hungry."
    " What?" Matt looked away from the fridge for a moment, shooting him an odd look. " You're never not hungry."
    That stung a little. Did he seriously have to be known as the fat kid who never stopped eating on top of looking like it?
    Struggling to keep his face even, Nick shrugged. " Ate earlier."
    " More for me and Chris, I guess." Matt turned back to what he was doing, but he couldn't stop the strange feeling of dread curling around his throat. Lately he and Chris had been noticing that Nick always seemed down, never really quite there, a faraway look in his eye. Could it be something at school? A bully, maybe?
    Little did Matt know that the bully in question was in the room with them.
    In Nick's head.

                                      *

    Hunger.
    It was the only thing Nick could feel as the darkness of early morning pressed into his eyes. His bed, normally the most comfy place on earth, felt hot and uncomfortable. He was so hungry that he'd resorted to watching videos of people eating, just to see if maybe that would dull the hunger.
It didn't.
    When was the last time he'd eaten anything? Maybe yesterday? The day before? But this is what he had to do. In order to fit in, this was the only way.
    No one will want to be seen with you unless you lose weight.
    Matt and Chris'll probably kick you off the channel too, because you ruin their image by being fat.
    God, you're an embarrassment to yourself.
    Nick shook his head, trying in vain to dispel the horrible thoughts. The hunger was bone deep, the unhappy grumbles of his stomach making sure he couldn't forget about it. It was paralyzing. Absolutely unbearable.
    And somehow, a few minutes later, he found himself in the kitchen, searching anxiously for something- anything, to eat. His hands grasped the edge of an oreo cookie box.
    One bite couldn't hurt, right? And then he could go back to bed.
    But one bite quickly turned to another. And another. The cookie was sweet, and the hormones in his brain seemed to like that. After starving for 48 hours, it was impossible to stop.
    Suddenly the cookie was gone. Then another. And soon the whole box was empty. But it hadn't even put a dent in the insatiable hunger. Nick wiped crumbs off his face as he stood, desperately reaching for something else. It didn't even matter what. A jar of peanut butter made its way into his hands, and he started scooping spoonfuls of it into his mouth. He felt completely out of control, like someone was manipulating his body. He couldn't stop.
   

                                     *

      And he didn't, until about 20 minutes later the light flicked on. Nick jumped, then slowly looked around.
    Matt was standing in the doorway, a shocked expression on his face, his hair tousled from sleep. He took in the scene in front of him. Nick, sitting on the floor surrounded by tons of wrappers. An empty peanut butter jar and spoon sat beside him.
    " What. The. Fuck." He breathed, eyes meeting Nick's, which were full of terror. Chris, having heard the commotion, stood behind Matt, a matching look of surprise on his face.
    Nick felt tears build in his eyes. His stomach hurt, and he had much surpassed the feeling of fullness. The waistband of his pants bit into the inflamed skin.
    You lost control.
    Look how fat you are now.
    You're a failure.
    " I-I-" Nick swallowed heavily, pulling himself up off the floor so that he was no longer sitting. How could he possibly explain this one away? " I was hungry."
    " No shit." Chris said, without a hint of humor. His eyes flitted from Nick's face, to his stomach, to the kitchen floor. " What the hell is going on, Nick?"
    Matt, noticing how close to tears Nick was, pulled him into a hug. Nick rested his head on his brother's chest, trying to hear his heartbeat.
    " Can we just go to bed?" He asked quietly. " I don't wanna talk about it."
    " We need to talk about it at some point." Chris said, running his hand down Nick's back. But it's late now."
    Without another word, Matt wrapped his arm around Nick and the trio walked into his bedroom.
    Nick laid down gently, whimpering as his stomach pressed sharply into his lungs, making it hard to breathe.
    " Of course."
    The other two laid down on either side of Nick, shooting each other concerned looks before falling into a restless sleep.
                                     *

Part two?

Tysm for reading lovelies! This wasn't a request, sorry abt that. Just something I felt like writing

Love uuu

Pls pls pls take care of ur selves and reach out if u wanna talk! I'm always here