Feeling For You (DNF)

Chapter 19: Sushi Date

Author's note:

This is it! Well, I won't say what exactly "it" is, but you'll figure it out soon! Btw, the hoodie George is wearing in this chapter is the same one as the Christmas stream ;)

This chapter is one of my favorites, I feel like it turned out really well! Please leave a vote and/or a comment if you enjoy! Thanks so much for reading!

Word count: 4,018 

For this chapter, I recommend listening to Best Friend by Conan Gray, Good Company by Andy Grammer, Iris by  Goo Goo Dolls, and/or Touch by Sleeping At Last.

⚠️TRIGGER WARNINGS: Warnings are listed at the bottom of the chapter, if you want to preview before reading!

George wanted to go on a date with me. Me and George are actually going on a date. Does this mean..? 

I shake my head to myself, scowling at my reflection in the mirror as I pull on a new (and better) shirt. I must have misunderstood something. There's no way George actually wanted this to be a date. Like, a romantic date? No chance. 

Right? 

I don't fucking know anymore. All of George's mixed signals are starting to add up, leaving me a mess of confusion and a glimmer of unrealistic hope. 

I sigh, giving myself one final once over in the mirror, and walk downstairs. My phone's in my pocket, no new messages since a strongly worded text from Sapnap late last night to call me as soon as you see this message or I'll beat your ass. 

Apparently, George called him after I passed out. I'm not mad, and besides, I can't blame him. Sapnap was probably going to find out eventually, it was just poor timing that it was only a few ours after our talk about how my empathy was hurting me. 

I'd called Sapnap right away, as instructed, and had received a berating monologue about how what I was doing was bad for my health. He was right, of course, but I loathed admitting it. I know I need to tell George, but at the same time, part of me still thinks I can live happily in denial, without him ever finding out.

I know it's unrealistic. I'd thought that way when Sapnap first moved in, too, and look where that ended up! 

I wince a little as I recall the day Sapnap found out. Don't, don't, don't think about it. Thinking about it never ends well-

Sapnap screaming my name...

Blood on the cement...

Crushing hopelessness...

"Don't think about it!" I gasp, slapping myself out of my thoughts. 

My face stings where I slapped my cheek, but at least I'm not spiraling into the memories of that day.

On our call, Sapnap had also hinted that George was upset, although he refused to elaborate when I asked. I felt guilty, and still do, as I'm sure it has something to do with me. 

God, am I a shit friend, or what? I think to myself, sighing internally. At least I didn't feel any anger coming from George, which was a good sign that I could make it up to him. One lunch together isn't enough to excuse my secret keeping and unintentionally hurtful behavior, but it's a good start. 

Although, it's not just lunch. It's a date. 

I glare at the floor, wondering how it's possible for one simple word to have so many different meanings and implications. A date can be serious or casual, romantic or platonic, a sign of attraction or just a flippant term. There's no telling which one George was referring to, though I know which one I hope it is.