If only he didn't.

CHAPTER 18, AWAY II (HERO POV)

Feeling it closing in. I drove to my academy, once again did I have to go back and leave my family. my bags either being in the trunk or in the back-seats. My head hurt immensely, to be honest, but I didn't have a choice whether I wanted my head to hurt, or whether I didn't. My head just absolutely despises me.

Time for a change. I actually wanted to go kind of change my style of clothing, despite how much I loved my collection of my shirts and cardigans. I could dye my hair blonde, get red glasses (my eyesight's been worsening). My MOTHER would absolutely kill me if I did that. I feel like I'd only do that if I would want to change my identity or something. I'd never see myself blonde, green eye contacts and red glasses though, that's just ridiculous. Good idea, though. I've never seen a blonde person with green eyes, though.

Can't stay forever, time to get away. I muttered the words of the song that came up on radio. I've always been a fan of calm music. Either classical, or...That. I quickly glanced out the window to my left, how stupid, right? I'm driving, with a huge window in front, yet I want to look to my left. The sunset looked beautiful, too bad I didn't exactly have the time to appreciate it, 's great to be in a car while something beautiful 's happening right next to you.

..

Get away. My eyes and hands constantly moving. My eyes focused on the road, catching a glimpse of the trees on my side. My hands moved the steering wheel. This is  just normal driving activities. The song just playing on the radio, myself quietly jamming to it. 

Get away. The phrase I constantly told myself when I was leaving from somewhere, to another place. The phrase itself was calming. A chance of escape from problems, stress or memories. I've always wanted it, honestly. I'll never forgive myself, forgive...Nevermind. I want to escape that sense of loneliness, back to MARI.

..

Take a chance, you wouldn't want to miss this. The clouds calmly and slowly moved as my car drove on the road. I wanted to be perfectly honest, I remembered this moment with somebody that I used to know. The sky's vibrant colors reminded me of someone. The sky slowly turning dark, it reminded me of someone's hair wave in the wind. The sky's individual colors. The soft pink, it looked like someone's soft lips. The bright orange, the colors of autumn leaves falling onto someone's body, I remembered someone's laughter. Light blue, the color that my bag matched with someone's. Purple, someone's bag color. The black silhouettes of trees and poles passed me by, eventually looking like someone. 

Someone who I loved dearly. Someone who was an angel. Someone who had been my everything. Someone who should've been alive. Someone who looked at me differently than everyone else. Someone whose smile shined. Someone, was HER.

Find a way, even if you have to go the distance.  Even in traffic, STUPID traffic, I always manage to find a way. Even if the way is...7km longer. To myself, I softly spoke, the few words of "Damn Traffic."

Get away. The sudden feeling of her holding my head and leaning her head against my chest, her warmth constantly fading in and out, as the corner of my eye tried to picture her, from my memories of happiness. In the back of my mind, You died, MARI. You know you did. I just don't want to accept it. As her hand intertwined with mine, tears that blinded me, rushed out of my eyes.  As I parked my car in the middle of nowhere, with the sky now dark, I wiped my tears from my face and stared onto my side.

Get away. I adjusted my seat lower, finally not having to suffer through having a sort of...Short car. I shut my eyes, MARI's image of her laying on my chest, I hated how my mind deceived me entirely. She looked alive and healthy. She looked like nothing happened. I was hoping, just hoping I'd hear her voice once again.