- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife could spend. A successful woman is one who can find such man.
- A word to the wise ain't necessary-its the stupid ones tgat need advice.
- Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
- A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
- Go to heaven for the climate, Hell for company.
- As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices : take it or leave it.
- Alright everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.
-Housework can kill you, but why take a chance?
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it on a fruit salad.
- I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
-Why is the place you drive on is a parkway and the place you park on is a driveway?
- If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
