Church boy

Part 10

It's cold. Too cold for me to be out but I just force my hands into my hoodie pocket and try my best to hide my face in my hood. The bottle rattles in my pocket, dragging down the fabric to expose my throat to the bitter cold. I sigh, the cold air instantly steaming my breath and momentarily blocking my vision. I wipe my eyes again, cringing at the cold touch of my own hand. Why do my parents have to be so fucking stupid?

The park slowly enters my vision and I almost start running towards the familiar space. I quicken my pace, speed walking towards the climbing frame. It was a small wooden frame with a green plastic slide hanging off of the edge. There was a small roof above the top of the slide and I decided to stay there for the night, just until I can message Sapnap and ask to stay at his place for a few days.

I pull myself onto the small platform and stretch out my legs. My left knee is raised and used as a support for my arm while my right arm reaches into my pocket for the bottle of alcohol. I twist the cap off and take a mouthful of the bitter liquid. I cringe and swallow, a single tear rolling down my cheek as the liquid burns my throat.

I gasp, sucking in a breath to try and ease the burning sensation in my throat, it barely works but as soon as the pain eases I take another sip. My hands shake and my eyes start to well up again as half of the mouthful starts to dribble down my neck, missing my quivering lips and travelling down my chin to add to the icy air.

I gulp and hiss at the burn, squeezing my eyes shut and dropping my head down. Salty tears drop into my lap, turning my black jeans an impossible shade darker. I laugh. Laugh at how fucking stupid everyone is, and how shitty my parents are.

The bottle hits against my head, resting there to ease the slowly growing ache in my arm. "God." I whisper. "I fucking hate you." I look up and stare at the brightest star I can find. "You-" The word dies out on my tongue. "You've ruined my life." I raise the bottle as if about to shrug and then drop it back onto my head. "Asshole."

My eyes drop onto the street below me. It's empty. Everywhere is empty. I'm all alone, left with my shitty music and horrible habits. I shouldn't be drinking. I place the bottle down beside me and wipe my face, sighing as my hands drop onto my knees. My back slouches, curving into the most comfortable position my body could find in this cramped space.

I scan the roads around me again. No one. I stare hazily at the street lamps scattered around the roads, the yellow lights bleeding into one another as my eyes watered and then emptied themselves into tears.

I miss my cat. I haven't seen her in a while. Is she okay? Is she out here with me? Wandering the cold streets or sitting on a little playground slide like me? I almost laugh at the thought of anyone doing something as pathetic as me.

A slight flicker of movement in the corner of my eye catches my attention. I turned, only to be met with the darkness of the field. There are no lights, none apart from the one lighting up the playground. A small red light flickers. It's tiny and I probably would have missed it if I weren't so desperate to see another person.

It disappears and then moments later reappears. I can tell it's the end of a cigarette. I've seen the way they flicker as the smoker inhales, Sapnap has practically burned the image into my mind with how much he smokes. I pulled out my right earbud to try and let it hang down on my chest. The blaring music hummed through the bud, adding to the sound blasting from the left one still in my ear.

The light edged closer, slowly making its way towards the light. A trail of smoke slithered into the light, spreading out before disappearing into the air. My knee knocks against the glass bottle beside me and I turn to watch it rock, throwing the clear liquid up the sides of the bottle in an attempt to try and escape. The bottle stills and I sigh in relief, glad to not have a bunch of alcohol poured onto my clothes.

I turn at the sound of a cough. It's deep and just as I'm about to turn back to the bottle, a figure steps into the park. The gate screeches at the movement, rattling back and forth as it slowly comes to a stop against the fence. The person coughs again and closes the gate, a string of smoke travelling above their head as they turn towards me.

I choke, refusing the sight in front of me. George is smoking a cigarette. The same boy that I saw just a few hours ago, sitting in a church and telling me about how religious his family is. The same boy that hadn't swore before the night at my house. I looked away.

That's not him.

I swallowed the growing lump in my throat. Why is he here? Why is he smoking? He can't see me, I probably look like a mess. He'll laugh at me.

I pick up the bottle and take a swig of the drink. Maybe I'm just drunk and imagined him here. He wouldn't even be allowed out this late, his parents would kill him. It's impossible for him to be here, smoking too. I refuse to believe it.

He takes a seat on one of the swings, the same one he sat on the other night. He takes another drag of the cigarette and looks down at his feet. He pushes, swinging himself backwards as he breathes out the smoke.

That can't be him. Would he have lied? Why would he have lied? I smoke too, it's not like I'd push him away for it or anything. I'd literally just offer him puffs of my joints and cigarettes, not throw him off of the edge of a cliff onto a pile of glass shards.

I bring the bottle back up to my lips and drink. My throat burns and the liquid drips from my lips but I don't stop until my face burns from the lack of air. I gasp, sucking in as much air as possible to make up for the lack of air.

Do I say something to him? Call him over? Message him? The song changes into a low hum with instruments and I sit back, tilting my head up to look at the wooden roof above me. I sigh. This is going to be a long night.

WC: 1163