It Was Always You - Sebastian Stan x Reader

1. You just see right through me

Hi everyone, this was something I recently wrote during one of my sad episodes - more to come!

Xx
2019.

It was like any other Thursday night as recently, it was nearing 3 am, and you had yet to sleep. Filming ran later than usual, and it was clear that you were exhausted as you nearly collapsed onto the sofa in your co-stars' trailer. You, Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan had been shooting The Falcon and The Winter Soldier, and the schedule had been kicking everyone's ass, but yours especially. You weren't used to this type of filming.

Until recently, you were a Disney actor, working under strict management with hour control due to some of the cast being under 18. You always had a whole night's sleep, even when you had first landed the minor role of Katherine Stark in 2015 - the 17-year-old inconvenience of a daughter that Tony Stark had at the height of his irresponsible days. Now, after being with the marvel gang for the last three major movies and being a major part of Bucky Barnes' recovery, you were in full control of Marvel's management, which meant chaotic hours.

You felt so inexperienced next to your older co-stars, who seemed to be handling the lack of sleep much better than you were. "How are you smiling right now?" You snarked as you watched Sebastian dance around as he slowly prepared to leave set for the night. Without missing a beat, the 6'0 ft man reached out for your hand, pulling you to your feet and attempting to get you dancing with him.

"Well (Y/n), after 7 cups of coffee and knowing that after we leave here tonight, we get a three-day three-day weekend because of Christmas - I'm excited for some relaxation time, sweet cheeks," Sebastian was still dancing as he spoke, trying his best to get you to join. Still, even with the news of a break, you couldn't move your feet even though a small smile played on your lips.

"Let the kid sit down, Seabass!" Mackie called, his tone light-hearted to remind you that he didn't mean anything by your nickname. Even though you were only 21 years old, it was clear that your age didn't keep them from treating you like part of the family. "Not everyone can dance around after 16 hours of straight filming."

"Thank you, Handsome," you said with a sarcastic wink. For once, Mackie had said helpful something and had earned one of your few compliments, even if it was sarcastic. "So, can we get out of here, Sebba?" You nearly begged, looking over at your drive back to the air bnb that you and your co-stars had decided to rent instead of staying at a hotel as usual. After knowing the men since you were 16 years old and having had them as your best friends since you were 18 years old - all of you wanted to stay together:

Enjoy the next few months you have together.

Sebastian looked down at you, his blue eyes crystal clear as he took on your dishevelled appearance. Taking pity on you, he nodded his head before grabbing his jacket and bag off of the table in the far corner. Anthony looked just as excited as you because he rushed to his feet, bolting out the door towards the Towncar waiting for the three of you at the back entrance.

On instinct, Sebastian wrapped a protective arm around you as the two of you walked behind Anthony. You knew something as different as his hand anxiously played with your (y/h.c) hair as you walked. Looking up at your friend, you could almost see the gears turning in his head as he tried to formulate a sentence.

"I thought I'd invite someone by for you and Anthony to meet tomorrow," Something in his voice made you curious. "I think you'll really like her." The smile that had made its way to your face when he wrapped an arm around you nearly dropped as his words made your brain short-circuit.

Her? You didn't even know that Sebastian had been talking to anyone, let alone enough to introduce you.

"I can't wait!" You fake cheered as you couldn't bring yourself to kill his excitement. Sebastian was your best friend, and unlike your best friend, this was your friend's Christmas away from your family. You were not too keen on having to share your Sebastian with anyone over the holiday.

Anthony was clearly aware of the tension when you and Sebastian finally got into the Towncar—assuming that Sebastian had finally told the third musketeer his news. Hoping to make the silence less weird, Anthony tried to start a conversation. "So (Y/n), I take it he told you about Alejandra coming by this weekend." Looking over at your other friend, you were confused by his statement. After getting no help from the oldest of the trio, you looked to Sebastian, hoping for some clarity.

"Alejandra?" The name felt like poison in your mouth because you could almost assume who she was to Sebastian. You honestly thought you would have more time as Sebastian's best friend before he found himself a girlfriend, leaving you alone once again.

"Yeah, Seabasses girlfriend," your heart clenched as you felt your whole world stop. Your bad feeling becomes a reality. Sebastian deserved happiness, you knew this, but some part of you hoped that he would eventually realize he wanted that with you.

Time seemed to click by as both of the guys staring at you, waiting for a response. When they didn't get one, a hand reached out to touch your knee. "(Y/n)?" Your eyes trailed up the hand, to the wrist and then up the arm until finally, they landed on the owner. Sebastian was staring at you in concern as he stood outside the car.

"What?"

"We're home." Looking behind him, you could clearly see the apartment building but what you focused on was the saddened look on Anthony's face as he realized his mistake. Anthony had single-handedly helped break your heart without realizing it, and Sebastian still didn't see it. Without another word, you practically stormed past your best friends and went straight for your room in the apartment.

You couldn't handle this tonight, and you sure as hell weren't going to. You were exhausted, so you ignored their concerned looks. You ignored Anthony's calling after you, and instead, you curled up underneath the plush blanket that Sebastian had given you because he knew just how much you loved soft things. Without another thought on your mind, you allowed yourself to drift off into a restless sleep.