The Internship

Chapter Thirty-Nine

"Uncle Scotty! Uncle Mitchy! Wake up, wake up!" A six year old jumping on my bed and screaming was not exactly my ideal way to wake up. "Santa was here! You can't sleep on Christmas morning! Get up!"

"We're up, we're up," I mumbled.

"Nuh uhh! You're still in bed."

"But my eyes are open, see?" I nudged Mitch so he'd open his eyes too. Jacob, one of my youngest cousins, tilted his head ever so slightly, but still seemed to buy it.

"Okay, but be downstairs in ten minutes."

Once he was out of the room, Mitch mumbled out: "That kid can go to hell."

"Mitch!"

"Sorry, I'm tired."

"And a bitch."

Mitch just groaned and rolled back over. I sat up. "C'mon, we have ten minutes."

"Ten minutes? I can't even pee in ten minutes."

"Then you have some other issues going on then."

"Oh shut up."

We did make it downstairs, but in twenty minutes, which earned us the scariest glare from a six year old that I'd ever seen.

 Presents began being opened when we sat down.

"Who's Santa this year?" My mom asked.

"I vote Mitch!" I called, making him turn around a glare at me.

Everyone seemed to agree and soon Mitch was wearing a Santa hat and delivering presents to my family.

All in all, it was a great couple of hours. Even Aunt Judy was somewhat pleasant to have around. Everyone was joking around and truly enjoying themselves, knowing that this precious time would be lost by tomorrow morning.

"Wait, Mitch there's one more!" My uncle Marty exclaimed. A very tired Mitch got up and crawled behind the tree.

"Alright this one's for...me."

Mitch returned to his seat next to me and I wrapped my arm around him as he untied the ribbon. I didn't recognize the wrapping paper, and I was probably more excited than Mitch to find out what it was.

He ripped off the wrapping paper and inside was a small box. Inside the box was a bookmark, a picture, and a letter.

He dismissed the other two items and immediately began reading the letter. We all sat around anxiously to find out who the present was from, and what the letter said. I was simply looking at my family, feeling grateful to have them when my cousin Cindy asked: "Sweetheart, are you okay?"

I looked at Mitch to see him crying, his eyes scanning the letter again and again. Who the hell made him cry? I pulled him into my side and his hands balled into fists as he clutched my shirt, to ground himself? I don't know.

Everyone held their breaths until he calmed down. "Read it," he whispered, "To them, read it." He seemed hesitant and most definitely afraid, but I picked up the letter anyways. Everyone's eyes traveled to me. Mitch buried his face in my chest and I began, my voice shaky from seeing my boyfriend upset.

Dear Mitch,

I didn't plan to be like this. I had my life figured out. Go to a good college, get a steady career as a lawyer, meet a nice girl, and start a family. The american dream, right?

All of that slipped through my hands on January 17th, 1983 when I met a strawberry blonde with a passion for poetry at a party. She pulled me in like a magnet, and suddenly nothing else mattered.

That woman was your mother and that night we made your brother. And eight years after he was born, we had you.

I was so proud to call you mine. With your cute dimples and your consistent lead roles in all your plays and musicals. I was proud and let me promise you that that has never died. Ever.

I know that your mom has told you that when you were little she had cancer. I know that she also told you it was minor. It was not.

Your mother was so sick that I became a single father. I couldn't do it. I could not make you and your brother happy while simultaneously convincing your mother that life was worth living. I became a mess. Your eleven year old brother was more of a father to you than me.

Your mother got better, but I did not. I hate to give out blame, but her cancer took away me and any love she ever felt for me. She didn't work, and she was scared to give away a steady income and "happy" lifestyle. So she stayed. But she deserved much better.

When you were six years old, I tried to commit suicide. Your fourteen year old brother found me. He never recovered.

I lived a lie for the rest of my life, and I still am. I constantly walk around with this ugly, green monster inside of me. I hate myself, son. And somehow I've unleashed that hate upon you. I think it's because I don't understand you, and I don't know how to try. I wish I knew how you felt and I wish you knew how I felt, too. I love you. I won't ever leave you. I know that I've been the world's worse father and that I can't apologize ever for anything that I've done. I'm okay with you seeing me as some drunk stranger rather than a parent that you love. But let me tell you this, you're going places. You're going to become someone important, someone special. You're going to be everything that I'm not. Nothing that I say, believe, or punish you with by the force of my hands will change that.

You are smart, beautiful, courageous, and worthy of a love far greater than the one I've hidden from you for years. The Scott kid, your intern, he loves you. I don't know if you can see it, but he does. Give him a chance.

As for the bookmark, it marks the next chapter of your life, and mine as well.

As for the photograph, it's our family before life truly got to us and we became scars and a fire that never burned out.

As for me, I'm the man that helped create you, but I was never your father. You learned to grow up in a damaged environment with a damaged family. I'm sorry that I was never anything that I should've been. I'm sorry that I ever degraded you with words. And dear God, that I ever put a single hand on you. I wish you the best of luck in your life.

Love,

A man who misses a boy he never met

No one spoke. No one moved. No one breathed.

Then someone, their weak voice unsure if what they were saying was allowed, cracked the silence with four words: "I love you, Mitch."

Everyone soon followed and my whole family began telling Mitch that they loved him.

I didn't say a word. I just listened to the beautiful sound of my family becoming his.

A/N Hi wow what is this?????? Not sure tbh. But it's unexpected and boring and I'm very sorry. I was gone because of exams but that's over now ((hallelu)) but now I'm sick so???? I really wanted to give you guys something though because you totally deserve it. I'll try to come back and post more as I feel better.

ALSO I HAVE A NEW STORY THAT YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK OUT! I only have the intro right now but I'll be posting the first chapter soon. No but by soon I mean a couple of minutes so by the time you go over to my works and read the intro and check out the song, it'll be there. Pls read it ))):

I'm tired and will edit this later. Bye I love you.