Chapter Fifteen

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"And then we kissed," I said. I bit my lip, watching Alex's reaction carefully.

"Okay but who kissed who?" He asked.

"I don't know. It was an in the moment kind of thing. We both leaned in."

Alex smiled wide. "I am so happy for you."

I had gotten home from Texas earlier that morning. After Mitch and I kissed last night he smirked at me and then went into his room. He didn't say anything or answer my texts, but I knew he was happy.

"Can I take a shower?" Alex asked.

"Sure? That's a fucking weird question."

"Sorry I was at the gym but you sounded so urgent on the phone so I came right over."

"Alright, alright." I went to the bathroom and got everything set for Alex.

While he showered, I watched Spongebob. I still wanted his advice on how to go about things. I wanted to take Mitch on a real date and start things right.

I was shaken out of my thoughts by someone knocking at the door.

I went and opened it to see Mitch. I couldn't help but smile wide. "Mitch!" I said happily.

"Hey Scott, I--"

He was cut off by a wet, glistening, and loud Alex. "Hey babe! What soap do you use? It smells fucking amazing!" Alex was oblivious to who was standing at the door. He stood waiting for an answer, only a towel wrapped loosely around his waist.

"I don't think that's very important right now," I said through gritted teeth. I was too scared to even see Mitch's face.

"Alright fine. Who's at the door?" Alex asked.

I moved my body so that he could see. "Oh shit," he said.

I turned around to face Mitch. He was crying.

"Mitch--"

"I don't even want to know," he said coldly before turning and running down the staircase.

"Damnit Alex!" I yelled furiously.

I turned around to see his eyes watering. "I am so sorry, I'll go," he said.

He ran back into my room and came back out shortly, fully dressed. He put something on the counter and then ran out. Before he went down the stairs he turned around. "I am so so sorry," he said. I could see the tears running down his cheeks and I felt bad, but I didn't have time to.

I threw on the first pair of shoes I could find and bolted out of my apartment. I was ready to search all of California if I had to, but to my surprise, Mitch was sitting in his car.

I approached him, careful not to startle him. I softly tapped on the window of his car.

He looked up and the pain on his face made me feel paralyzed. He rolled down his window.

"What the hell do you want?" He hissed.

I hated this Mitch.

"I want you," I said.

He laughed bitterly. "Do you honestly think I believe you?"

"Alex is just a friend, I swear."

"Save it for someone who cares. It's my fault for thinking you'd be different, for thinking you cared."

"I do! Alex was over to help me--"

"Come up with a way to let me down easy? I worked hard to admit to myself that I had feelings for you. Does that mean anything?"

"It means everything, I--"

"You don't even understand."

"WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP INTERUPPTING ME!" I shouted. I was desperate to get my point across. "I want you. I want you so bad. I can't breathe, I can't think." I ran my hands through my hair. "I want you and I don't know how else to get you to believe me and trust me."

"I don't want to be a second choice, Scott. I want you when you wake up and you have a dazed and confused look. Then I want you to see me and smile as it hits you again that I'm yours and I'm here. I want to share your bed. I don't want to share you."

That struck me hard. "That's what I want too. We want the same things but we're butting heads."

"Then maybe that's a sign that we shouldn't be together."

"You don't believe that. You didn't come to see me tonight for nothing."

"You're right I came to see you because I wanted to; because I want you."

"See there, progress. You want me and I want you."

"But I don't believe you."

"Who has hurt you before, Mitch? Who made you think that everyone was horrible?"

He tensed. "Does that matter? I should've known this would happen. I am not the kind of guy that people fall in love with. They fuck me and leave in the morning. I am nothing."

"If you believe for one second that I'm just going to stand here and listen to you lie---"

"You're so sweet and amazing and everything I could ever wish for. I am so lucky that I even got to know you. Now please back away from the car so I can leave."

"Leave? No come inside. Let's, let's uh watch Netflix or make some food. Or whatever you want I don't care just don't leave."

"Call Alex, okay?"

He rolled up his window and drove off. I stood there numbly trying to figure out if what just happened was a nightmare.

"WHAT DID I EVER DO WRONG?" I yelled to the empty parking lot. "ALL I EVER WANTED WAS HIM. I TRIED SO HARD AND NOW I LOST HIM.
WAS IT THE COOKIES I STOLE WHEN I WAS SEVEN? I PUT THEM BACK!"

I was a sobbing mess, I wasn't making any sense.

"GIVE HIM BACK PLEASE. I WANT MY BABY BACK."

I stayed on the parking lot ground until my sobbing stopped. I carried myself to my apartment.

Why did everything have to go wrong?

I went towards my room but something green on my counter caught my eye.

$20.

A/N We were so close babes. I love you all, don't kill me please.

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