Calzona- Fourth Times A Charm

Chapter 9

Arizonas pov

I slowly woke up to find myself cuddled into a brunette head of hair in front of me. Momentarily, I cuddled in further as a natural reaction before I remembered that I don't know this person. Despite that, they had a familiar and comfortable smell that I didn't want to release from, but I'm not going to cuddle with someone I don't know.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I muttered to myself. I had done it again. Ever since Callie left, when I wasn't dating someone, I couldn't stop sleeping around and reverting to my slutty college ways. I couldn't stop trying to fill her void, even though it's a hopeless mission.

Slowly, this brunette person came to life with my sudden movements.

"Arizona?" They asked. Then, I realized it was Callie. The smell was comfortable because it was Callie, the person who I held and who held me in our hardest and most wonderful moments of life. That's even worse. I totally forgot that she's here in my morning haze! She must've fallen asleep in my bed while we were watching the movie after I did.

Last night, after we both recollected ourselves, we managed to decide to watch a movie in my room. It was quite a experience considering that despite our moment of reconnection, we were still incredibly awkward with each other.

Eventually, I felt myself begin to get sleepy, and let myself fall asleep with my back to Callie. Seeing as it was a Steven Spielberg film, I had already seen it a million times, so I wasn't missing anything. At some point throughout the night, I apparently managed to start spooning her, hopefully after she fell asleep. I can only imagine how awkward it would've for her if she was awake, her sleeping ex wife cuddling into her while she slept. But of course, of course I cuddled into her. Of course, I couldn't just have a more normal reaction to my ex wife in my bed in my sleep. Like, I don't know, maybe kicking her off the bed unconsciously?

As she sat up stretched, rubbed her eyes, and cleared her throat, I wondered how I would explain it, but then realized that she seemed completely unfazed. She had even put a comforting hand on my arm when she noticed the stress on my face. "It's fine Arizona, this is your bed. I should've made sure I didn't fall asleep." I took a sigh of relief.

"No, no Callie, it's fine. I should've asked you to leave when I started getting sleepy." She just half laughed and left the room. Was it not fine to her? Is she mad at me for accidentally cuddling her in my sleep?

After she left the room and I closed the door with an awkward smile, I tried to fall back to sleep, since I was still tired, but then I realized that it was a hopeless mission. I haven't slept so well in years. Truthfully, since the last night that Callie and I slept together happily, so I decided to get ready. I guess cheating really does lead to realities that are more unfortunate than I had ever expected that night when Lauren convinced me it was a good idea.

Now, Callies absence in my bedroom was so loud, yet also the most silent thing in the world. It wouldn't have been hard to not cheat, but I did, I ruined our marriage, I could've just said "no," but I didn't, and I have to accept that. The only issue is, when the person you were married to was your soulmate, coming to terms with it is pretty hard.... I still haven't. The urge to run into that bedroom and kiss her, and beg her to take me back is overwhelming, but I won't. To cry in her strong and loving arms and tell her how much I missed her, to bury my face in her chest, to move hair out of her face, to hold her hand, to hold her while she cries if she needs. I want it all, but I can't just ask, can I? No, not this soon, she hasn't even been here 24 hours. If she's here for a month or longer I'll offer the idea of us trying again, maybe, but if not, I won't.

At that decision, I decided to get ready. Once I put my leg on, I began walking to the kitchen, but I paused when I passed the guest bedroom and heard sobs. When I looked it through the slightly opened door, I noticed Callie facing away with her face in her hands. I don't want to use her moment of weakness to my advantage, but the guilt will never go away, and I need to try and fix it, even if it didn't work before.

I knocked on the door, and smiled as I waited for her to turn around.

"Hey!" She said with a smile and sniffle. She was crying. It just wanted to run to her side and kiss her until she felt like a whole new person, a better version of herself, but I couldn't. I wanted to but I couldn't, I ruined that. I cheated, twice. I hurt her. She hurt me, but I hurt her first.

"Hey" I responded with a awkward tone. We both looked down a little and for a while, we didn't know what to do with the silence, but eventually, I couldn't stand any longer because of my leg. I sat on the bed in the spot furthest from her, and we faced away from one another. 

"Im sorry" we both said in unison, which made us chuckle.  She nodded as to tell me that I could talk first.

"Uh, I'm sorry, I should've asked you to leave my room before I fell asleep" I said. She quickly shook her head to disagree.

"I should've left when you fell asleep, it was a long day for both of us"

I was about to respond, but then the door knocked and we bolted to open it and greet our baby.

Funny enough, as soon as we had Sofia and Sofia only on our minds, nothing was awkward anymore, we were just her mommies. Mommies who might still have very strong feelings for each other.

April stood behind Sofia and said "you guys seem... happy"

We both blushed and ignored her comment, spewing all of our love and attention on Sofia.

As I walked to the kitchen with Sofia in front of me to get her a snack, Callie walked closely behind me and whispered "we can finish that later, while I massage your leg, if you don't mind, I can tell it's hurting you."

I only nodded my head to acknowledge what she said, but not catch Sofias attention. As much as I tried to force it, a small smile crept onto my lips. For the first time in a long time, the first time in years, I finally feel complete. It was strange considering that Callie and I are still very awkward with each other, but the feelings of hate were completely gone.

A/N- So, clearly this took more that a week lol, I plan to try to have the chapters out within about a week from now on though. I hope y'all really enjoy this! :)