Love to Hate You

I Hate You for It

I hated myself for the stupid messages I had written on the stall doors.

Victoria had been so upset and I hated being the reason she was crying. I thought back to her on the floor of the Hellfire room, so sad and small – nothing like the annoying goodie-two-shoes I was used to. All I could think to do was to hold her and try to soothe her. She was so soft and smelled so good, too – I had to catch myself when I had pressed my nose to the top of her head.

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the thoughts I was having about Victoria Davis. I drummed my fingers on my steering wheel. I pulled to a stop at a red light and sighed. I needed to get over whatever was going on in my brain. I glanced over and saw Dustin walking home. I rolled the window down and called out to him.

"Hi, Eddie!" he greeted.

"Let me give you a ride home, kid," I offered. His smile grew and he ran over to the van quickly, clambering in. He was giddy – I rarely let the younger kids get in The Beast. He chattered on, asking about the punch apparently heard around the school.

"Are you and Victoria friends now?" he asked. I scoffed and shook my head.

"Absolutely not," I insisted. I glanced at him and saw his face twist. "What?"

"You sure defend her a lot for you two not to be friends."

"Jason Carver's an asshole."

"So are you, but you take up for her a lot," he retorted. I felt my face burn and glared ahead. Victoria was not my friend. I just didn't think she should be treated like that. I turned the music up and tried to drown out the stupid thoughts in my head.

"Hey, stop at the video store – I want to rent Labyrinth," Dustin ordered. I looked at him, incredulous.

"Do I look like your personal chauffeur?" I asked. He snorted and rolled his eyes.

"It's literally on the way – come on, I'll buy you candy or something," he begged. I rolled my eyes and pulled into the store parking lot. I climbed out and slammed the door, sauntering into the store. Dustin was practically underfoot, chattering on about the movie he was going to rent.

"Henderson!"

"Harrington!"

Steve came around the counter, pulling Dustin into a hug. I made a face. I never understood why Dustin liked Steve so much – he was the antithesis of me, and I always felt that Dustin was a tinier, toothier version of me. Steve looked at me, his narrowing.

"Munson," he said coldly. I nodded at him in greeting. He always acted so high and mighty. He turned back to Dustin, smiling again. "What did you want to rent, buddy?"

"Labyrinth!" Dustin exclaimed. Steve smiled at him.

"Again?" Steve asked. Dustin nodded and started off in the store, Steve close behind. I leaned against the counter, absentmindedly picking at my fingers.

"And Eddie hit him again – isn't that cool?" Dustin asked. I bristled as I realized he was telling Steve about my fight today. Steve nodded and looked at me.

"I mean, it would have probably been better if someone had never written those messages, but I'm glad someone was able to stick up for her," Steve sniped. I felt my face flush and looked at my feet. I hated that he was right.

"Yeah, Steve, you're right, but it's still cool that Eddie beat him up," Dustin insisted. I smiled at Dustin. I probably was not the best influence on him, but I enjoyed how much Dustin looked up to me. I looked to Steve.