Love to Hate You

Hate Being Alone

I piled the papers in the box, shaking my head. I was full of a mix of anger and confusion. I slammed the box back on the cabinet. I paused, flushing at the memory of Eddie pinning me against it. I was frustrated with myself, especially because I hadn't hated it. The tension was different than anything that had been between the two of us before.

I had been on edge all day – Robin was still icing me out, Jason Carver glared at me every chance he got, and I was nervous for my date with Steve. And I got a zit, right in the middle of my right cheek, on top of all of this. So, when I had to spend another afternoon, one-on-one with Eddie, I wasn't feeling particularly chatty.

And he was so obnoxious. He kept staring at me, making comments about Steve and my date tonight, and saying and asking anything he could to get under my skin. And he seriously would not stop staring. It drove me crazy – he had started doing that more and more lately, and I was frustrated with how it made me feel.

Because I didn't hate how he watched me, either.

I hoisted my bag over my shoulder and looked at my watch – 4:48. Steve was going to pick me up at six. I started down the hallway to leave the school. I stopped when I saw Robin leaned against my locker. She crossed her arms and stood up straighter as I got to her. I stopped, my eyes welling with tears, and she sighed.

"I'm sorry for being an asshole," she said, finally. I smiled weakly.

"I'm sorry for not telling you about the date," I replied. She smiled back and hugged me. I was relieved to have my best friend back. She kept her arm around my shoulder as we walked out of the school.

"You're my best friend – I want to know what's going on in your life," she explained. I nodded.

"I promise it wasn't intentional. I'm just nervous! And Eddie kept bothering me about it during the archiving and when I was helping him with English, that's all," I insisted. She rolled her eyes.

"I hate that you call him his first name now," she scoffed. I flushed – I guess I had started doing that. I shrugged. She squeezed my shoulder. "Whatever; I guess you guys are kind of friends now—"

"We aren't friends!"

"I guess you guys are kind of friends now," she continued cutting me off. I sighed when we got to my car. She smiled at me. "Just keep me in the loop. I don't want to find out things about my best friend from people who made her life a living hell."

I smiled, feeling a pang of guilt. Should I tell her about what happened with Eddie today? No, of course not – nothing happened. Except for when he pinned me against the cabinet and stared at my lips and I thought my heart was going to pound out of my chest. I bit the inside of my cheek.

"I promise to tell you everything," I said, deciding that the moment with Eddie wasn't really anything. She beamed at me and gave me a big hug. It was nice having my best friend back. She pulled back and her grin suddenly looked guilty. I sighed.

"You need a ride home, don't you?" I said.

"I mean, I did want us to make up with each other, but this is a nice perk," she teased. I rolled my eyes and we piled into my car. I started the car and the Kiss cassette I had in my stereo started playing.

"Are you excited about your date?" she asked as I started down Main Street. I looked to her and nodded tightly.

"Sure. I'm not sure what to expect. I didn't think Steve liked me like that," I admitted. She laughed and I furrowed my brows.

"He's had a crush on you for forever – I think since the first time I introduced you two. He was spitting mad when he heard about what Munson wrote about you in the bathroom."