Love to Hate You

I'll Hate You Better

I was curled up on the couch, reading Pride and Prejudice for the next English essay. I was lost in it, smiling at the thought of Eddie reading this. He would have complained about how they talked, how Elizabeth was stuck up for no reason, that it didn't make sense for the daughters to get married off in birth order. I would have compared him to Darcy and told him to leave Lizzie alone.

"Vic?" someone called. I smiled and looked up.

"I'm in the living room, mom!" I replied. I heard her drop her different bags and start towards me. She entered, smiling and exhausted.

My mom was wonderful. She had been a nurse since before I was born and was fully dedicated to her patients and making sure they were taken care of. It used to bother me how often she was gone when I was growing up, leaving me stuck with neighbors or babysitters, but now I admired how dedicated she was.

She flopped onto the couch next to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. I leaned into her, appreciating her hug.

"You okay, sweetie?" she asked. I shrugged.

"Robin and I are in a fight," I explained. She nodded.

"What about?"

"Just something stupid," I lied, my eyes welling. She kissed the top of my head.

"Doesn't seem stupid," she said quietly. I sighed heavily. She pulled me tighter. "You upset about that boy from the other day?"

I flushed and looked down at the book in my hands.

"It's a lot of things," I answered.

"Oh, sweetie," she replied, her voice kind. "He seemed sweet. He sure had googly eyes for you."

"I don't know about that."

"I've got a bit more life on you. I could tell," she insisted. I paused and studied my hands.

"How...how could you tell?" I asked, uncomfortable to be seeking advice from my mom. I looked at her and she smiled.

"Just how he looked at you and watched you. Like you hung the moon," she replied. She kissed the top of my head. "Which you did."

I smiled at her. I wish she was right. Her confidence in things made me feel a little better, but all of my doubts still loomed in my head.

"Want pizza for dinner?" she asked. I nodded as we stood. I went back to my room and laid on my bed, turning back to my book. I really enjoyed it so far – Elizabeth Bennet was a character I related to strongly.

I glanced over to my window and furrowed my brows. Something was propped up against it. I rolled out of bed and crossed to it, opening the window carefully to not knock it over. I pulled it in and turned it in. I smiled.

It was the Kiss album I had left inside Eddie's van. This was still not the space I needed, but better than him trying to come see me. A pulled a sticky note off of the album and read it.

But if you gotta go, then you gotta know

That it's killing me

I studied it – it felt familiar, but I wasn't sure from what. I decided to keep the note, setting it on my desk. I stacked the album with the rest of my collection and went back to my bed, curling up with my book.

---

There was a knock at my door, and I didn't bother looking up from my book.

"You can come in, mom," I called. The door opened and I continued to read, expecting her to set my pizza on my nightstand like she normally did.