Blink Back to Let me Know

Unpacking Life

ABUSE TW

I had started to unpack my clothes and put them in the dresser that came with the apartment. Scarlett and I had to split it, but she got the closet. I put in my band t-shirts, shorts and jeans. I was singing Holocene by Bon Iver. She didn't know this one. So I just sang alone. She was busy hanging up clothes and putting sheets on the bed. Soon everything was done.

"I want to know you Pierce, and then I want you to know me." She sat down on the couch, and patted for me to sit down like you might do for a dog.

"Ok, I guess I'll tell you the whole story, but only if you tell me yours." I said nervous. No one knew the whole story. Not even the band.

"I was 11 when my mom left. We later found out she was on drugs. Last I heard she was a prostitute in Minneapolis. Then my Dad started to drink, heavily. It was the talk of the town. He was always drunk, except at work. He worked as an accountant. When he came home I would try to hide in my room. I learned at an early age he would take his drunken rage out on me.

I eventually realized that I couldn't avoid him forever, and at one point I would have to fight back. So I fought back when I was 16. After five years I finally fought back. It ended with me having a broken wrist and a knife slash on my arm. I didn't win. I started spending the night at my band mates' house whenever I could. But when I couldn't he would beat the shit out of me. And you know what happened at graduation. It's scarring a little bit. But not bad. The stitches dissolved. And I'm out of there. I'm never looking back- your turn." I finished explaining my backstory.

"My parents always pushed me to do gymnastics. I was really good. But one time, I didn't make a low enough weight. Then it went down hill. I stopped eating, pretty much completely. I lost a lot of weight, like into the 70s and 80s pounds range. I had to go inpatient for like 2 months. They stuck a feeding tube down my throat. I couldn't even get out of bed. I could hardly walk to the bathroom. I was about to die. Like I was dying. And my story is trivial compared to yours, but its what led me to run away. I know its stupid but I'm stupid so." She seemed upset.

"Scarlett...you said this...everyone has their demons. No one's demons are better or worse than someone else's." Then Scarlett did the unexpected, something I wanted but unless drunk, would never say. She kissed me.

She pressed her lips against mine, forcefully and in an attempt to get me to lay down on the couch. I kissed back, and then I realized, as she was about to pull off her shirt- that I couldn't do this.

"Scarlett, I can't do this." I stopped her and we sat up.

"Why, why can't you? You said you wanted me, you said that when we were drunk." She seemed hurt.

"I can't do it because I don't want to rush whatever becomes and "us." I want to get to be around you and know you first. I actually am starting to care about you, and I want to try to start singing with you. It would be too complicated." I did want her, more than anything. But I also wanted to sing with her. And be there for her.

"I understand, do you know the song Truce by twenty one pilots?" She asked.

"I do. Let's sing it."

"I will fear the night again...I hope I'm not my only friend...stay alive...stay alive...for me." We sang out in perfect harmony. That's when I realized we were perfect for each other, and that we needed each other.