Quit

Chapter 38

It's been a week since we were back in LA and right now Ariana and I were at Liam's place because I was staying here for a couple days. We had gotten into a fight yesterday because I went out with some girls without telling her.

"Do you see why you're in the wrong?" Ariana asked me.

"Yes baby. I'm sorry for what I did." I apologized as we sat on my couch.

"It's okay." She said.

"No, it's not. I keep doing shitty things all the time. I honestly don't know why you're sticking with me for so long." I said.

"It is trust me. You're going through a lot. You're not used to someone loving you. You don't know how it feels to be loved and I'm not trying to be rude. I understand you. You are such a strong person. You never really had the feeling of being loved unconditionally. I know you had your first girlfriend, Elena, and I know you loved her. But it was an innocent love. What we have is more serious. And I know that it will take its time for you to heal from all your past trauma and I'm willing to wait for you. We don't have to be together. But I just want you to know I'll be right there waiting for you whenever you're ready. Always. I promise. I want you to know that you're loved and wanted." She said.

"No, Ariana-" I started but she interrupted me.

I didn't like that she was starting to see through me and to know me. It would make me let down my walls and be vulnerable. And that didn't happen in a long time and I was honestly scared of it. Showing emotions was scary for me.

"No, Y/n. Don't fight the truth for once. Let me speak. I know this is incredibly hard for you but I also know that you're incredibly strong." Ariana said while looking into my eyes.

I took a deep breath and nodded my head, letting her speak.

"I know you always seem so cold and emotionless. I know that there's a bright and soft spot deep inside of that cold, black heart. I know you say you're not able to love but I also know that deep down you have the ability to love. And if this is what it takes, then let me be the one to stand by your side. I'll always be there for you. I'll always be there for you because I love you. And I'll show you how it feels to be loved. I'll show you how to love and maybe you can give that love to someone else one day. I hope that someone will be me- But nevertheless I'll help you." She said and took my hands in hers.

I was at a loss of words. What she had said touched my heart because it was the truth.

"I also know that when you say you love me too, you lie. But you don't lie in a bad way. I know that what you tuly mean is that if you could choose to love me you would. And I appreciate that a lot." She said.

She was right. I didn't think I loved her yet. That's why I never said 'I love you' first.

"I don't know what to say." I said.

"You don't have to say anything." She said.

I just pulled her into my arms and hugged her tightly.

"It's okay baby." She whispered and kissed the top of my head.

"Come on. Let's do something to give your mind a break." She said after pulling away.

"Alright." I said.

She grabbed my hand and we went to the kitchen.

"Let's cook." She suggested and searched for the perfect ingredients.

I was still a little bit distracted from my thoughts. How could she see right through me like that?

"Hey, everything will be okay." Ariana said and got on her tiptoes to peck my lips.