Chasing Her Heart

63| Lost |

Raheenah sighed and engulfed Mufida into a hug with a small smile plastered on her lips. She came here to tell Mufida the good news but the way things turned out, it surely isn't the right time to say anything.

Mufida broke out of the hug and wiped her tears. "Stop pitying me Heenah, I deserve whatever I'm going through right now..." she cried. "I deserve it, I deserve it..." she kept repeating it and slapping herself, Raheenah was quick to hold her hands.

"What are you doing?!!"Raheenah yelled, she was beyond angry. "Forget all these and enjoy the littlest of things in your life right now, live to the fullest, forget about your past and move on. You just got married a few days ago, let go, just let everything go."

Mufida stared at Raheenah as if she was making any sense out of whatever she was saying and shook her head.

"How...can...I...enjoy the littlest...things in my life..with this guilt buried deep within me?...how will I forget about my past...when it's always hunting me?...how can I move on when almost...everything around me...reminds me of...my dreadful past?..it's not easy to let things go Heenah, it might be easy for other people but not for me...I lost that gleam of hope a long ago...I'm just living my life and going with the flow, but sometimes everything takes a toll on me and I break down...I'm not as strong as a rock...to be able to handle everything, this is real life, not reel life when everything goes according to how you want it to...I can't erase my past... it still lives inside me.."

Raheenah was quiet, she was speechless, the fact that what Mufida said is right made her run out of words, completely.

Mufida chuckled and tilted her head away. "I know...I know what you're thinking Heenah, stop trying to make me forget my past.." she sniffed. "It's getting late....you should go."

"I'm not going anywhere until you're okay.."Raheenah argued, worried.

"I'm fine, I'm okay.." she lied, wiping away the tears and faking a smile at Raheenah. "I just want to be alone, lost in my thoughts maybe I can find myself."

If you'll look deeply into the matter then you'll know that Mufida is still depressed, somehow she needs help. If you've a long deep conversation with her you'll know better. She looks okay from the outside but inside she's deeply hurt. She wakes up every day hiding her scars from everyone to not burden them with her pain.

Raheenah have a slight nod and picked up her phone. "Whenever you're ready to talk, I'll be there....just give me a call."Mufida nodded with a slight smile and Raheenah left, closing the door slowly.

As she was expecting, Hisham was standing near the staircase, his chin resting on his palm, he was looking pale.

"You're lucky you had nothing to do with this," Raheenah stated, not looking him in the eye.

Hisham ignored her, all he wanted was to see his wife and how she is doing, and he'll only get to do that after Raheenah leaves.

Seeing that he ignored her, she sighed and left.

Finally! He uttered making his way to Mufida's room. Before he could even say his tasleem she cut him off.

"I want to be alone." she stuttered staring at the window, without even sparing him a glance.

Mufida is stubborn he knows that very well, so he did as she said. "As you wish." and he left.

•

The next morning the same thing happened, he even prepared breakfast for her thinking she'd be happy with it, but she shunned him away and repeated what she said to him the other day. "I want to be alone."