Flashback |Yeongyu/Beomjun|

Seven

Beomgyu curled his legs to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He kept replaying the kiss inside of his mind, trying to make sense of it. He just wanted Yeonjun to give him a chance. But he also needed to respect his wishes. Maybe he should try moving on. Soobin was waiting for him...

Beomgyu couldn't stop tears from streaking his cheeks. Did Yeonjun actually like him? He kissed him.

It wasn't fair, he'd been looking for Yeonjun his whole life, but now that he found him, they couldn't be together. Beomgyu rested his head on his pillow and closed his eyes.

———————————

"Todays our second month anniversary." Chan-yeol smiled and leaned his head against Yeong-cheol's shoulder.

"That's right." Yeong-cheol agreed. "We've officially made it sixty-three days without caring what people think."

"We're awesome." Chan-yeol grinned. Yeong-cheol nodded and kissed his forehead.

"I'll never leave you."

"Same." Chan-yeol said.

...

"Chan-yeol, we'll meet again in another life. I won't stop looking for you. I love you."

"Please, stop!"

Chan-yeol's cry came too late as there was a loud gun shot, and Yeong-cheol dropped dead.

"No!"

——————————-

Beomgyu sat up, sobbing and shaking. What did these dreams mean??? Were they telling him that him and Yeonjun would end the same way if they tried to be together?

"God damn it." Beomgyu mumbled, trying to wipe the tears that kept coming away. He barely knew Yeonjun, so why did he mean so much?

He never grew to like someone as much so quickly, but now it felt like his world was crumbling. He barely tried making Yeonjun like him, but somehow the kiss made it feel like Yeonjun was telling him that he would like him if he could.

Maybe he should just accept they can't love each other??

But why did this have to end in heartbreak?

And misery?

And pain?

And suffering?

And loneliness?

And emptiness?

And depression?

And so many other things that Beomgyu didn't want to acknowledge. Beomgyu didn't want more heartbreak.

But he needed Yeonjun. But he couldn't have him.

And what if he was right? What if his dad took away everyone he cared about? Surely he wouldn't love Yeonjun from guilt. He might like him, but if his dad ever took Taehyun, Kai, or Soobin away...

"Mochi, I hate myself right now." Beomgyu mumbled as the cat jumped on the bed. "I hate love. I hate life. I hate everything."

Mochi just stared.

"Everything's so difficult. Why can't I just have no worries, like you?"

His phone went off, and he unlocked it.