Flashback |Yeongyu/Beomjun|

Nine

*Yeonjun's pov (first person)*

I mentally sighed when I entered the house only to see my dad waiting for me.

"You wanted to talk to me?" I asked, raising my eyebrow questioningly. He stood up and made a slow circle around me.

"Yes."

His voice was neutral, but I could see a dark fury in his eyes, and that's never good. He stopped in front of me and slowly unfolded what seemed to be a piece of paper while looking into my eyes.

Except... it was a picture.

Of me and Beomgyu... kissing.

"Explain yourself." My dad commanded.

"Where the hell did you get that?" I demanded, ignoring him. He raised his hand and slapped me across the face.

"I said explain yourself!" My dad's voice raised a bit with anger.

"I don't talk to him anymore, don't worry." I snapped. "That was a one time thing."

"It better be. For both of your sakes." He crumbled the paper and tossed it aside. "Pray I don't find out about something like this again."

*third person pov*

"Come here." Soobin said, laying on Beomgyu's bed with his back propped up by the pillows and his legs spread apart.

Beomgyu smiled and crawled over, positioning himself between his legs and leaning his back against Soobin's stomach with his head on his chest.

Soobin wrapped his arms around Beomgyu and kissed the top of his head. "Comfortable?"

Beomgyu nodded. "Very."

"Can I ask you something?" Soobin asked after some seconds of silence. Beomgyu nodded, so he continued. "Did you like both me and Yeonjun?"

Beomgyu's breath got caught in his throat.

"Who said I liked Yeonjun?"

Soobin shrugged. "I guess it was obvious..."

"Don't worry. I'm dating you, aren't I?" Beomgyu asked, intentionally avoiding the question. But Soobin nodded.

*Beomgyu's pov (first person)*

I barely listened to the others talk the next day. I couldn't help watching Yeonjun. He looked like he was distressed, so when he went into the restrooms, I followed him in.

"Are you okay?" I asked as Yeonjun bent over the sink. His head jerked up and he rolled his sleeves over his arms before crossing them.

"Yeonjun, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He snapped, taking a couple steps back. I took a couple steps forward.

"You don't seem okay..."

"Just leave me alone!" Yeonjun turned away, and I walked forward, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Forgetting everything, I was genuinely concerned about whatever it is he isn't telling me.

"Please let me help you." I begged. But I was slightly shocked to see his eyes turn glassy.

"You can't help me. No one can." He backed further still, but I grabbed his arm. My heart beat a little faster just by the contact, and I mentally smacked myself for it.

But then I saw a smear of red through the fabric of his shirt. He noticed me looking and tried jerking his arm away, but I clung on and rolled the sleeve up. I gasped slightly at the sight. There were multiple cuts, most bleeding, some just healing.

"Oh, Yeonjun..."

A single tear leaked down Yeonjun's cheek as he shut his eyes.

"Did someone do this?" I asked, looking up at the older boy. But he shook his head, then realization hit me.

"You've been doing this to yourself... haven't you?" 

Yeonjun nodded slowly. "Yes." He whispered.

"Why?" I asked, my voice cracking slightly.

"I don't know..."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I don't know." Yeonjun repeated. More tears streaked his cheeks, and I realized it was my first time seeing him cry and seeming so... vulnerable. I hated it and just wanted to make it better.

I pulled Yeonjun against me and held on tightly, not wanting to let him go for a second.

"Don't hurt yourself, I'm begging you, Yeonjun." I whispered against his shoulder. "I'm here for you. I promise. Hurt me if you'd like, just don't hurt yourself."

Yeonjun shook his head. "I'm not hurting you."

"Either hurt me instead or let me help you." I looked up into his eyes, my own pleading. Yeonjun tried backing away but I pulled him closer and cupped his cheeks.

"If you hurt yourself... I'll hurt myself too." I whispered. Yeonjun sucked in a breath.

"Don't."

"Then don't cut yourself." I begged. "I don't want you getting hurt."

"You need to stop caring."

"I can't! Don't you get it?" tears leaked down my cheeks. "How can you kiss me and say that it will have to be enough?! Don't you know how much I crave you now?!"

"I'm sorry." Yeonjun looked away. "But you have whatever that boy's name is now. Move on."

"Don't be stupid, Yeonjun. It's not the same. I'm trying. For you. But do you know how fucking hard it is?" I asked, my voice breaking. "Barely any time has passed and all I want to do is-"

Yeonjun pressed a finger against my lips and closed his eyes. "Don't say it. I'm begging you."

"I need to." I whispered, cupping his cheeks again and creasing his lips with one of my thumbs. "Ever since you kissed me, it's all I've wanted. I can't explain what I feel, because I'm feeling too many things. But it's something I can't forget."

Yeonjun finally did pull away. "I'm sorry. It's far too late, Beomgyu. You'll understand soon."

And just like that, he left me once again. I feel hurt and confused. But I did this to myself. I put myself in this situation knowing how it was going to end. I pulled myself together and joined my friends again.

"Beomgyu, did you hear?" Kai asked. 

"Hear what?"

"Dude, Yeonjun has been talking serious shit about you."

(What am I doing at 4 in the morning because I woke up and couldn't fall asleep again...? Uploading this... so sorry if there's mistakes, I'll check in the morning. My mind's still slightly foggy lmao...

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