Accidents Happen

30. Coming home

I was surprised when I arrived home that Dan was still awake. He was sat in the kitchen pouring over some music sheets with a cup of coffee. It wasn't late, but I hadn't expected him to be up.

'Hey.' I said quietly, hoping not to make him jump. I got the impression that he was waiting up for my return.

'Hey. How did it go?'

'Really good. Yeah. I think. I don't know.' We'd had a really nice time. He was funny and easy to talk to, and he'd kissed me goodnight before I'd left and promised to call. It had just been...nice. Nice to get out the house, speak to someone new, to forget about my situation for a few hours. There hadn't been an awkward moment all night. I couldn't wait to see him again.

'Are you seeing him again?'

'Yeah I think so. He said he'd call. So...'

'That's good. He'll call.' Dan smiled. 'Do you want one of your fancy teas?'

'Yeah, it's ok, I'll make it.'

'I got it. Kettles just boiled.' He dived up, blocking my path to the kettle.

'Thanks.' I said awkwardly. 'What you doing up?'

'Got an extra session in the studio tomorrow, so getting things lined up now.'

He hadn't been waiting up. I was over thinking things as usual. He handed me a cup of cinnamon and ginger tea, normal tea no longer tasted like it once did. He returned to his notes and I watched him for a few minutes.

'How did you meet him?'

'Erm really weird story, I was in the canteen at Virgin the other day and he works there, asked me out on a date.'

'Does this guy...he knows you're pregnant right?' Dan said suddenly.

'Yeah I told him.' I shrugged. I had to at least let the guy know some small detail. And he'd taken it well, asking if I knew the sex of the baby, if I had any names yet.

'And he wasn't weirded out?'

'Nope. He said he didn't mind.'

'Its just...if it was me, I mean, I'd find it weird...' I was slightly taken aback by his comment. Was it weird? Had I crossed a line?

'Why?'

'Well, someone else's kid? Like...I don't know. Ignore me.'

So it had bothered him. But not for the reason I'd suspected. Not because he was jealous, but because the idea of another man bringing up his baby had annoyed him.

'If it's a problem, I don't mind not seeing people. I just figured, you know, we're not together and...'

'Its fine. I think it's a good thing. Like you said, we're not together.'

I shouldn't have done it. I should've known, especially after our conversation about getting married days ago. I didn't know how to respond, so I changed the subject.

'What you working on?'

'Song called Skulls. Here.' He slid the notebook across to me and I read the lyrics in my head.

'Bit morbid.' I laughed.

'Yeah, I don't mean it to be. The musics quite upbeat though.'

'Well that's fine then.' I grinned.

I couldn't stop thinking about what he'd said about being weirded out. Was it odd for me to date when I was pregnant? Was it even weirder for someone to want to date me when I was pregnant? Maybe I should just wait until the baby was born.