Fire and Blood

Chapter 38

We arrived in Dragonstone a week later, I didn't know what to do, I felt like a prisoner. Jamie was dead. I didn't have anything else to do with my life. I loved him and now he was gone. My heart shattered. I lost a part of myself, I never imagined my life without him, now I'm on my way to Dragonstone, to fight with the other side, I always wanted to be here, but not without him. I hated Daenerys for what she done, she is no queen of mine. I had no choice, I would be killed if I rebelled. I would be killed if I went back to king's landing. Nothing made sense without Jamie. As I get off the boat I am greeted by Jon.
"Welcome to Dragonstone." He says and i hug him tightly. He hugs me back.
"I've missed you Ros." He whispers into my hair.
"I've missed you too." I say as we break the hug, he bends down to the twins.
"Your all grown up!" He says and Alicent smiles.
"Your pretty." She says, Jon laughs.
"Your pretty too." He says and Alicent Laughs.
"Are you here to hurt us?" Robb says coming at Jon with a stick.
"Robb!" I yell taking the stick off him.
"I won't hurt you." Jon says to Robb.
"Daddy said that everyone wants to hurt us, I heard him say it to the scary lady." Robb says and I pick him up.
"Hush now." I say and he starts to whine.
"Scary lady?" Jon says laughing.
"He means Cersei." I say laughing too.
"Come now, do you want to meet the queen?" Jon says to the twins.
"I don't like the queen. She killed my daddy." Alicent says holding Jon's hand.
"She didn't mean it." Jon says smiling down at her, looks like Jon has an admirer.
We enter the Dragonstone throne room, I see Varys and Tyrion next to an empty throne
"Lady Roslyn, I never thought you would make it this far." Varys says as I bow.
"Me neither." I reply and he laughs.
"You surprise me everyday." He says.
"Wine?" Tyrion asks, I nod.
"Tell me Roslyn, how is Cersei." Tyrion asks as I sit down.
"She's mean." Alicent says climbing onto one of the chairs.
"Is she now?" Tyrion says, smiling at her.
"Your funny." Alicent says and Tyrion laughs.
"Why thank you." He says as Alicent giggles.
"Cersei is evil. She locked us in a bedroom for days, I was going to be exiled if I ever returned. I threatened her, she was going to kill them. She's trying to gain the loyalty of everyone who still hasn't pledged them self to you." I say sipping a drink.
"Has she?" He asks.
"No. She is to marry Euron Greyjoy. That's all she has." I say and Daenerys enters. I quickly rise.
"Lady Roslyn." She says as I bow.
"My queen." I say back.
"Tell me, how long have you been living in King's" landing." She asks, sitting down on the throne.
"A year, I only returned so my children could have a true place to live. I was set to marry Jamie Lannister. We were going to Casterly rock, to live in peace when the war ends." I say, looking down at my shoes.
"Did the queen like you?" She asks, i shake my head.
"No, she hated me, since I was a young girl. I was set to marry her son, but I got pregnant, she knew it wasn't Joffrey's. She convinced Joffrey to cast me aside. I was homeless for a year, I had to run. When I returned to kings landing, she accused me of murder img her daughter. I was locked in my chamber most of the time. She even threatened to kill my children. She refused to let me and Jamie marry. She wanted me dead." I say looking up at her.
"Why did you serve her if you hated her so much?" She questions.
"Me and Jamie were waiting for the right time, I had been convincing him to take me to Dragonstone for months, he always wanted to serve Cersei, but even he knew she was going to fail. We were going to come here. We wanted to serve you. I had no choice but to wait it out." I say and she nods.

They were hiding something from me. Tyrion was sent to kings landing. I knew something was up. Jon had been pleading to go back to Winterfell. Something about the undead. I was stuck here. Mourning the loss of my love. The twins got good education here, Robb was almost of age to hold a sword, a man who I knew in Winterfell as a child offered to train him.
"How is he getting on?" I ask as I enter the battle grounds.
"Good". Jorah Mormont says.
"He has talent." He says as I watch Robb swing his plastic sword happily.
"Gets it from his father." I say and he smiles.
"Returners!" A guard yells and both me and Jorah run to the beach. It's Tyrion and a man I seem to recognise.
"Lady Roslyn, fancy seeing you here. Not hiding from the Lannister's this time?" The man says.
"Gendry!" I say hugging him.
"Jesus, I only saved your life once." He says laughing.
"How do you know him?" Tyrion asks.
"When Jamie attacked Ned stark in the street, he saved me from being sold and raped." I say and Ser Davos nods.
"Told you he is a good lad." He says and I smile.
"We're leaving today." Gendry says and I look confused.
"Where are you going?" I ask.
"Beyond the wall, we're catching a white Walker." He says and I look at him.
"They exist!" I say and he nods.
"No time to waste, bye Lady Roslyn." He says following Ser Davos into a cave.
"Not to worry, we have Dragonglass, it kills Whitewalkers." Tyrion says walking back up to the castle with me.
"Good." I say.
"Roslyn, pack your things." Jon says entering my chamber that night.
"Why?" I ask sitting up.
"We're going to Winterfell." He says and I nod getting up to pack.
"Thank you." I say and he closes the door.
"I'm sorry about castle black." He says sitting on my bed.
"Why are you sorry?" I say looking at him.
"I should have said goodbye." He says staring at me.
"You had a duty." I say back, sitting next to him.
"I was awful to you, I couldn't look at you properly." He says putting his hand on mine.
"Why?" I ask.
"You had two children, they could have been ours. I thought I would be okay with it, I was in love with another at the time." He says and I look at him, urging him to continue.
"You should never have suffered, you were homeless, you were poor. I should have got the courage to ask for you hand all them years ago. I can look after you, I know that now." He says looking into my eyes. I didn't know what to say. Four years ago I would have married him there and there. But I have children, my love is dead. I had no idea what to do.
"Jon." I say and he crashes his lips onto mine, I try to pull away, but I melt into the kiss, a kiss I haven't felt in years, somehow it felt right, but also felt like I was betraying Jamie. I pull away.
"No." I say and he looks at me.
"Why?" He asks, grabbing hold of my hands.
"I am not the girl you were so set to marry four years ago, I have changed. I have twins, I have a whole new life. I can't." I say turning away.
"I'm not the same man either. I have fought battles, I have fought the living and the dead. I am willing to fight everyone for you. You deserve a good life, I'm willing to give that to you." He says and I look at him.
"My intended died two months ago! You cannot be asking me all of this! I am grieving." I yell, and he looks as if he wants to say something.
"Jamie is dead. You need to move on. I can help you move on, he was never in the picture before. We were meant for each other." Jon says before leaving the room. His words lingered on my brain, I couldn't think about anything else.