"NO SHIVA. PLEASE NO. PLEASE "
Her heart sank and she was drowning in quicksand . She was losing him and she couldnt take it. He was going to leave her. Like her parents had done all those years ago. They let death drag them by their souls and leave her behind. Why did she do this? Arnav was a good friend, so she thought. All these years , she wanted acceptance from Shiva but being " mami ki behen ki beti" made it hard. It was a hard trek indeed.
" Please dont leave me Shiva. Mummy , Papa sab chale gaye. Tu bhi mat ja. Please Shiva. Mujhe akela mat chor."
Shiva was confused. Where did they come into this.
" Maine hamesha se Pandya parivaar ka hissa banna chahthi thi. Jab Dev ne tukrayah, tune mujhe Tama lekin har baat par mujhe apne aapko prove karna para ki main iss parivaar ki layak hoon. Kabhi tujhse, kabhi Dhara di se, kabhi maa se. Sab ne mujhe meri choti si choti galti par badi saza diya. Isliye jab Arnav ne mujhse dosti kiya, bina expectations se...maine accept kiya bina soche bina samjhe. I'm so sorry Shiva. Mujhe maaf karde. Phir se galti hogayi."
Shiva was shocked. She felt belittled just like him. She sounded like a child who was scared of being punished. How could he make her feel like that. How could he allow her to be treated like that.
They say theres no smoke without fire. Well you got that right. He was still angry and hurt by her. He still felt all that sadness that she made him feel but his heart leapt out to her as he saw her crumble.
" Raavi". She rushed and cupped his face
" Nahin nahin. Main teri chipkali hoon. Teri gadheri. Teri hoon main Shiva. Main Raavi nahin hoon. Mujhe Raavi pasand nahin. I dont like her "
Shiva couldnt help but smile slightly as she referred to Raavi , the name , as a totally different person
" Teek hain . Lekin aisa nahin chalega. Main is tarah jee nahin sakta"
" Nahin Shiva. Mujhe chor ke mat ja. Main divorce nahin chahthi. Please Shiva. I beg of you. Tu jo kahega, main karungi. Jaisa tu chahe ga, main wasehi rahungi. Koi shikayat ka mauka nahin dungi. "
Shiva couldnt understand what was happening. He was trying to explain what he meant but Raavi was getting hysterical .
" Raavi tu galat"
" No no no. No Raavi. Mummy, Papa woh mujhe chor kar chala ja raha hai. Please use roko."
Shiva was confused. Raavi was begging away and staring into space, addressing her parents. Her face was drenched in sweat and tears. She was shivering as though she was having a fever. It was like she was having a breakdown .Slowly the realisation downed on him. She was having a panic attack just like him. He needed to help and comfort her as soon as.
He tried to hold her in his arms but she kept her hands folded,asking him
" Please Shiva, main tere haath jodi thi hoon" Shiva was trying to manage her when she collapsed in his arms.
" CHIPKALI..."
She had fainted in his arms and he wept as she crumbled in front of him muttering
" Usne mujhe chipkali bulaya Mummy Papa"
He stared at her face later that night. Her eyes sunk in. He didnt notice when he had seen her earlier. But she seemed more weak. Almost limp. Her facial feature were sharper. Too sharp and her cheekbones were sunk in. She looked like she lost a lot of weight. She was missing her sweet smile.
He called Divya immediately and he explained what had happened. He spoke to his family.
Gaumbi explained how Raavi had become subdued in his absence. She reduced her food intake, took so many sick days off work to the point she quit last month because she was on the verge of being fired. She was ignored by Maa which he knew and the family felt as though she was to blame for Shiva's subdued behaviour so they avoided her at time like the plague. Gaumbi explained how she often referred to him in happiness only to see the seat next to her empty. Dev apologised for his part and offered his cheek for Shivas right hook but Shiva realised there was no point. Dev letting himself get punched seemed too easy. He felt broken knowing that she was going through what he had gone through. The only difference was he had nobody and felt alone and she had everyone and felt alone. So when she saw him with other people, she saw red as she felt he was happier without her, especially Divya. He spoke to Divya earlier and realised if anyone was the cause and cure of his anxiety it was Raavi only. This only made him reaffirm what he needed to do. His chipkali needed to know what he had decided.
YOU ARE READING
Subdued- A Shiva Pandya Story
General FictionWhy is it that whatever you do, no matter how much you scrub that shirt, it is never as white as it was when you first bought it? Why is it that no matter how much you study, your mind doesn't work as fast as it did when you were younger? Why is it...
