𝐌𝐑𝐒. 𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐒

𝗧𝗢 𝗙𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗢𝗥 𝗧𝗢 𝗙𝗟𝗬

Genevieve

Sprawling her limbs out, she let out a yawn. Sitting up on the couch, she grinned to herself. Today was the day he'd be back. She kind of knew things were going by too fast, and it was kind of scary. But at the same time she was always one to stay behind the safe line. So why not take a leap of faith and take this opportunity. If all things go to hell, oh well. At least this time she could say she didn't pussy out this time.

Deciding what to make for dinner as she flipped her pancakes, she danced about the small kitchen. The country side wasn't so bad, the emptiness at first was slightly intimidating but at the same time beautiful. There was a slowness here unlike the fast city. It was like you could actually take a breathe and relax. It's pretty easy to get wrapped up in work, and abandon other aspects of your life in the city. There's always something to do, so much that it's a blessing and a curse. It's overwhelming for those that get lost in the pile options. Like me.

It's been while since I could sit back and enjoy a warm breakfast. Usually around this time I'd be scarfing down a nut bar and cup of coffee, hoping it'd hold me down for the first part of the day. For lunch I'd either skip or get one of those weird tasting sandwiches at the cafe. But now I'm here making a breakfast I can savour, for what feels like the first time in years.

Settling down, I switched the tv on and ate as I watched a few new shows. Suddenly, I heard the sound of a car pulling up nearby. Rushing over to the blinds, I peeked through and saw the rusty red truck of his.

"Trevor?" I called opening up the door.

"Cupcake!" He yelled grinning.

"I thought you wouldn't be back until around noon," I leaned on the porch rail.

"You upset I came early?" He rose his brow, loading a few of the boxes into the garage. "I'm surprised you even stayed." He chuckled.

"Well there's not much other options," I stared off into the distance.

"I guess that means you're stuck with me," he leaned on the trailer.

"I guess so," I glanced over at him.

"And me," Ron chipped in.

"Shut up Ron!"Trevor shoved him. "No one's talking to you."

"If you let me know earlier I would've made lunch," I interrupted.

"Ooh," he grinned. "Well I'll take you up on that offer, me and Ron still got a shitload to do so you can begin if you'd like."

"My wife used to cook for me," Ron mumbled.

"Hurry up Ron, we need to get these to Chef!" He kicked his ass.

Silently, I watched as they drove away once again. I wonder if I'm as bad as him, if I ignore his behaviour. Trailing my fingers around the porch, I hummed to myself. I wondered how long this debacle would last. How long this fantasy cushion of his affection would last. I wondered how'd this end.
I wondered if I truly needed him or solitude. I wondered all day long. As I made lunch, As I greeted them at the door and as I sat and laughed with them.

"Jen?" Trevor called.

I hummed in response.

"I've noticed you've been quite distracted,"he scratched the side of his face. "I'm just letting you know, you can leave anytime."

"Trev-"

"But when you do leave," he interjected. "Don't tell me you're leaving, just go." He got up and walked out to the porch.

Hopping over Ron, (who was completely wasted) I followed after the brunet. He was at the porch, drinking a bottle of beer.

"Gen, I'm not a good guy, I'm sure you've noticed," he took a gulp of beer. "I kill people, I'm a druggie and I've done horrible things, things that you could never imagine."

I leaned on the porch and gazed at him.

"It was nice, this was nice," he sighed. "But being with me is a commitment, I drain people dry."
He laughed bitterly. "I'm psychotic and careless, a ticking time bomb some say. You deserve some one better. Some one that'll let you grow as a person."

"And what about you?" I spoke up. "Who'd be that person that lets you grow as a person?"

"I don't think I'm ready to grow yet," he glanced back, before taking another swig.

"By you admitting this all is you growing," I stood beside him. "Would the past you admit this? Would you warn others around you?."I slipped a hand over his. "You being self aware and pointing your wrongs is half the work done, the other half is the one of the hardest, which is change."

"I've tried sugar, I've tried it all," he glanced away. "Therapy, life coaches and all the other things."

"Were you consistent? Did you believe? Or did you quit because you didn't see change? Change takes time,"I gently placed a hand on his cheek. "Many quit cause of impatience and self sorrow, I did too but as stupid as it sounds I believe if I keep on going I might see the light at the end of the tunnel."

"You're a stubborn one aren't you?" He sighed.

"I am, so will you hold out or will you quit Trevor?"
I walked back into the trailer.

That night he did not come to bed.