Save Me {Jasper Fanfic} boyxboy

Oh no

I woke up, feeling exhausted, but I knew I had to get out of bed.

You know what sucks? Being in love with you best friend, who is also your roommate.

I've had a crush on Caspar since we moved in together. He doesn't know. He dosen't know I'm gay. He doesn't know I like him. He doesn't know I cry myself to sleep every night. He doesn't know I cut. He doesn't know anything.

I got out of my bed and walked to the bathroom.

I turned on the shower, turning the hot water on full blast.

I pulled off all my clothes.

I slowly took off the bandage on my arm, revealing fresh new cuts.

I jumped in the shower and put my arm under the hot running water, "fuck!" I winced in pain.

I immediately jerked my arm back.

I sigh.

I turn around, still covering my arm with my hand, and sat down in the shower, letting the hot water trickle over my hair and down my back.

I felt my eyes stinging, I was crying. 'Pathetic' I thought.

I sat there for a while, thinking about everything. Thinking about how worthless I am. ( I hate typing that so much, joe is amazing, I just have to put this as what this pretend joe is thinking k bye ) before finally deciding to get up and get out of the shower.

I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist.

I opened the bathroom door, sighing.

I walked out to sit down on my bed, but I was greeted with a cute South African. Caspar. God, he's so amazing.

He was laying on my bed, looking down at his phone.

He must've been waiting for me to come out.

He was still looking at his phone, "Hey joe, do you--" He pauses.

He was now looking up, his eyes darting straight at my arm.

Fuck.

I forgot to bandage it back up.

I'm so fucking stupid.

I jerked my arm back, trying to hide it, praying he didn't see the cuts.

But he did.

He slowly stood up, walking towards me, concern filling his eyes.

"Joe.. What happened t-to your arm..? He stuttered.

"N-nothing, it's fine Casp." I replied.

"Joe, it didn't look like nothing.."

My eyes were stinging, I was going to cry, again.

He was going to find out.

Tears were now streaming down my face.

Caspar looked scared, sad, confused.

I hated crying. I put my hands over my eyes, trying to stop, but I just ended up crying harder.

"Joe.." Caspar whispered only loud enough for me to hear.

He started crying. Oh no. I made him cry. I hurt him. What's wrong with me?

He hugged me while sobbing.

"Joe, did you do that to yourself..? He whispered.

"I'm sorry Caspar." I sobbed.

"Shh, it's okay Joe, we can talk later.." He said.

He was now holding me. I finally stopped crying, his warmth felt so nice. I didn't want him to let me go.

I knew I had to talk to him, he was so confused, and he deserved to know what was wrong with me.

Although, he is what's wrong with me.

I'm in love with him, and knowing he doesn't feel the same way, it's.. It's tourture.

I can't stand the feeling.

I have no escape from that feeling.

Except one.

Then it comes right back.

Caspar and I sat on the bed for awhile until finally he laid back on the bed, signaling for me to do the same.

As soon as I laid down, Caspar wrapped his arms around my waist.

He laid his head in the crease of my neck.

I smiled.

We just laid there like that for at least an hour, until finally we fell asleep.

*Authors note*

Ugh I'm sorry it was short, I've been busy, but I will update very soon! Thanks a lot for reading, it honestly means a lot. Vote and comment if you want! It makes my day!

-Xoxo 💕