'Til Death - Chris Motionless Love Story

Chapter Seven - 18 Hour Car Rides and Shocking Truths

SALEM'S POV
My jaw was practically on the ground. He's dead? My ex is dead?

"What happened?" I asked, trying to hold back any tears. I had put the phone on speaker, and Chris gripped my hand. I pulled it away from him and he nodded his head as his lips thinned into a line.

"Apparently his friend came home and found that he had shot himself. Straight through the side of his head. Salem, they're begging you to come reconstruct, I mean, it's bad-" I cut Ash off.

"I'm not going to reconstruct my ex's face. I'm sorry, I just won't." I didn't want to see someone I knew in that way. Chris grabbed the phone from me.

"We will be down there first thing in the morning, Ash. Thank you for calling and letting us know." Who the hell did this man think he was? He hung up the phone and grabbed our plates, and I sat at the table not knowing what to feel. Shock, remorse, sadness, nothing? I wasn't sure. But what I did feel was guilt. Did he do this because I left him? Because I packed up and said goodbye? Were there signs that were missed? My head was swarmed with questions that I'd never have the answer to because the only person who could tell me the answers was dead. The walls felt like they were closing in, and I started to gasp for air. Chris dropped the plates immediately and ran right over to me. He kneeled down to level with me and grabbed both of my hands.

"Salem," he spoke softly, "look at look at me. Look at me right now," he moved a hand up to my chin and made me face him. "This is not your fault. None of this is your fault. I will fix him, but I need you there with me. You know best what he looked like." My tears finally started to flow as my brain decided on a reaction. I fell into Chris' arms on the ground where I allowed him to hold me and comfort me. My crying wasn't silent sobs, it was screams and tears. Yes, I broke things off, but it wasn't until this moment that I realized I was never going to not love him. I gave years of my life to that relationship. Chris stoked my hair and rocked me on the floor as I screamed into his chest, my fists balled up and clinging to his shirt for dear life.

"Salem, we need to get a few things together, and we will head out there. I'll just drive us through the night." He finally pulled me away from him, and helped me stand up. I still had a few bags of things over here from when he took care of me, so I figured those would be okay to take. He called a friend of his to watch after Gizmo, and we loaded up into the car.
After crying I felt almost emotionless as we headed out of Scranton. Chris handed me his phone once we were about two hours out of Scranton.

"Here, I already got my services taken care of. Do you wanna pick the hotel?" He asked as I took his phone. I shrugged, and opened up his app.

"Damn, how do you have so many points?" The man had like, two weeks worth of free nights.

"I travel a lot." He left it at that, and I booked us the hotel. I made sure to get a double queen, but part of me was hoping that maybe there would be a mix up in the hotel booking. Maybe we'd end up in a single bed. I remained consumed in my thoughts as I stared out the car window, and Chris stayed silent. All I could think about was how things were left between my ex and me. They weren't bad, but not the best. The man was on one knee in front of everyone, and I shot him down. Anyone would be damaged by that. I snapped out of my thoughts when we came to a stop at a gas station.

"I need an energy drink. Come in with me." He was always so damn demanding. I rolled my eyes and went in with him. As we walked through I could feel eyes on us. We were both still dressed nice and it was about 12am, so I bet people were just wondering where we were coming from. Chris grabbed a couple Monsters, and I grabbed a RedBull. When I insisted on paying for my own, he grabbed it from my hands and put it on the counter with his. "I don't have the patience for you to be stubborn right now, Salem." He was stern as he pulled out his wallet and handed some cash to the cashier who's eyes were fixated on me. I could tell it was bugging Chris, and he made it very evident when he called the cashier out.

"Are you looking at my girl?" His girl? The fucking audacity. The cashier stuttered, and Chris rolled his eyes then grabbed our drinks in his large tattooed hands. I followed behind Chris to the car.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I asked him as we pulled out. He shrugged his shoulders.

"I just don't like people undressing what's mine with their eyes." What's his?

"Excuse me, but I am not anyone's property. Besides, you said we're just friends, right?"

"Salem, I am not having this conversation with you right now."

"No, no. Let's have this conversation. Let's lay it all out!"

"Salem-"

"What? I'm just a fuck toy to you? Someone that's only good for a quick fuck and then to toss aside?" I kept pushing, and his body was tensing.

"Salem, stop." His hands tightened around the wheel.

"No! You need to fucking stop! I mean, who the fuck do you think you are? I'm sorry your ex hurt you so fucking bad, I'm sorry that you're a shell of a man now who can't just admit what you feel!" Chris pulled the car to the side of the road and parked it, then turned on his hazards. I was puzzled by his actions, and then he got out of the car and slammed the car door. He leaned against the car, arms crossed. I pushed too far. I gave him a few moments, then got out of the car, too.

"Salem, please, I'm begging you just drop it." Chris? Begging? I stood on the passenger side of the car, and he turned to face me.  "I will tell you everything, just please, don't ever bring it up again," his head hung low, "my ex didn't leave me. Salem, she died. We had just gotten married, we were going to start a family. I was happy. For the first time in years I was actually happy. She had a crazy abusive ex, and one thing led to another, and he stabbed her. I had her for awhile after that, but something went horribly wrong and I lost her. And you," he pointed at me, "I can not lose you. Not you. I can't explain it. Salem, trust me, I want nothing more than to be happy with you, I want to make you happy. I want to wake up to you. I use the fact that I'm your boss as an excuse to not get so close. I can't take that kind of pain again." His hands were resting against the hood of his car. I wasn't sure what to say, I just wanted to take him into my arms.

"Chris, I-I am so sorry, I had no clue."

"It's okay, you wouldn't know. No one in the office talks about it, it's practically a rule." I shivered as the wind cut through me, then Chris made his way over to my side and pulled me into a hug. "I wish I could explain to you the intense emotions I have for you, but even I'm confused. I just feel like I've known you for forever." He said quietly as he held me in his arms, guarding me from the cold. I upheld the deal, the moment we got in the car I dropped the subject. Chris turned off his hazards, and we pulled back onto the road. I leaned my seat back and curled up under a blanket that Chris had brought for me, then shut my eyes to try and maybe sleep a little.
After a few hours of sleep, I felt cold fingers against my face. He brushed my hair behind my ear, causing me to stir a little.

"You are so beautiful, Salem." I heard him whisper. I turned my head to him and let my eyes flutter open. His eyes were fixated on the road as his hand rested on my thigh. I placed mine over his, comparing the size in the darkness of the car. "We should be there by 8am, then we will head straight into the funeral home. They will be expecting us."

"Don't you want to check into the hotel first and get some rest?" I asked him. He shook his head.

"No, I'll be fine. I'll rest after we finish. Now, try to get some more rest. We will be there soon." I shut my eyes again, but kept my grip on his hand. My hand rested perfectly in his. Though we left that conversation, it had changed something between us. It was almost as if he felt better now that he wasn't keeping that from me. It was nice.