Starlight

gone

In a sea of strangers,
I've come to fear the unknown.
I was taken aback by the fact
that people come and go.
I thought forever existed,
but nothing could last a lifetime,
even the friendship that we both had.

I've been to the road less traveled by,
got lost out of the woods,
and saw epiphany thereafter.
I drowned in my deepest, darkest miseries.

There was a fire burning,
and it took me awhile to get it out of my chest.
After the fire,
there was snow.
I shivered from the cold.
Unbeknownst to the eyes of many,
your warmth comforted me.

But then,
you were as cold as ice.
It's as if you hid in the dark side of the world,
and grew with hatred in your heart.
I gave you sunflowers,
but you gave me roses as dark as the clouds above.

Dark days took over me with despair.
It was too hard to bear, I swear.
I ran as fast as I could to escape this from haunting me down,
like a nightmare trying to kill me inside.

After days of reeling,
I pondered on something.
I realized that I was more than this,
and I deserved to be with someone who truly cares about me
than someone who pretended to.
It was a realization I should've thought of sooner,
yet I held on to you, Myriae.

I held on to our friendship,
even if it was slowly
piercing my heart
and turning my
world
into darkness.

I held on to you
for I thought I only had you.
But, no.
I had more,
and more of the world and itself.

I had a castle built for me,
but I settled for a cottage
that left me
hanging in pieces.

There I was,
alone
because I thought and believed
that you would always be
there for me.

As foolish as it sounds,
I was torn again.
My heart has always been used to damage,
but this is gigantic,
enormous,
and
vast.

This was immensely and tremendously
different than any other
heartbreaks I've suffered
from the boys
I liked,
but didn't like me back.

And now that I've suffered too much,
I'm thinking of closing my heart
and not letting anyone
enter it
for a long time.
I will build what has been broken,
and restore what I've lost.

The damage cannot be undone,
Myriae.
Bridges were burned,
and my ship was sinking.
Yours were too,
I believed.

Breathing in and out,
I will have to learn
that there are still so many fishes
out there,
but I only thought of you as the fish
meant for me.

Fishes come and go,
this sounds fishy
I know.
Myriae,
I'm no sailor.
I'm not a mermaid.
I'm not a fairy.
I'm not a vampire.

But my world doesn't revolve around you,
as well as yours around me too.
You aren't the world,
yet it felt as if
you were once my world.

If I were to describe you in one word,
it would be
unforgettable.
Myriae,
how I wish you were easily forgettable
so I would no longer ache from this.

However,
you aren't
because you stayed in my memory
longer than you did in reality.

Your words remained in my heart.
Once upon a time,
your words allowed me to heal.
As time passed by,
your words damaged what I thought I healed from.

Sometimes,
when I'm upset and alone,
I'd look for you.
When I'm tired or angry at the world,
I'd look for you.
When I feel like I've no one to talk to,
I'd look for you.
When I feel like things have become better,
I'd still look for you.

Now,
it feels so lonely
to look for something that chose to be gone.
Nonetheless,
I wish you well.