Un•A•Were

10| Nerves

Amanda's POV:

"It's a trap! It has to be some weird senior prank! I'm excited, nervous, terrified, suspicious, and every other emotion I can't think of right now!" I all but scream into the phone at Sam. "What am I gonna do?! I can't believe I said yes! Ugh! I'm so stupid!" I shout, exasperated by the whole Bryan situation. Is it a situation? Is there something going on between Bryan and I? Why would he even be interested in me? I'm just a simple, plain Jane girl. He could have anyone he wants with his rock star abs and beautiful skin, and piercing grey eyes! I stop myself before I drown in self-pity.

"Girl! Please calm down! First, I think he's finally pulled his head out of his ass and noticed just how incredible you are. You know those jock types! Besides, Luke and I have known it for years! I guess it just took everyone else longer to realize it!" Sam says, trying to pull me from my personal ledge of emotions.

"I just hate feeling like the wool is being pulled over my eyes and at some point, someone is going to cry wolf!" I explain.

I hear Sam nervously chuckle into the phone. "Interesting expression, Mandy. But let's just take it one day at a time and see what happens. If he wants to spend time with you, then let him. What's the worst thing that could happen?" She suggests.

"The worst thing—the worst thing that can hap—I'll tell you the worst thing is I end up crushed and heartbroken by this beautiful man and I'm mortified in front of hundreds of people who have all but ignored me for most of my life! That's what!" I scream. I take a few breathes to calm down, but it is Sam's words that truly bring me back.

"Mandy, I love you! Luke loves you! Your mom loves you! You are surrounded by people who love and support you. I've seen him looking at you and I just have a feeling he wouldn't do anything to hurt you! Now, you're going and that's final so let's just get through the boring school week so we can enjoy a fun-filled party on Friday. Okay?" She asks.

"Okay" I pout. "And I love you guys, too!" I scoff as I hang up the phone.

As the week passes, Bryan has been very attentive and sweet. I feel bad sometimes for thinking there's something more going on, but I try to follow Sam's advice and just enjoy the moments. Bryan introduced me to his friend group, including James, Whitney, and Nick. I've even taken to sitting with them at lunch, which was nice to be included, but also garnished some weird stares. Bryan would find ways to touch me, whether it was moving a strand of hair out of my face, placing a hand on my leg, trickling his fingers down my back, or simply squeezing my hand. I honestly enjoyed his affection...it made me feel, dare I say, loved. I tried to keep my emotions in check, not wanting to fully invest in what was happening between us, but a part of me wants to free fall into him. But I am scared and on edge with the thought of how easily he could break me. I saw how heartbroken my mother was after she lost my dad and that type of pain only comes from a true connection. Could Bryan and I have that type of connection? Maybe. It is still too early to tell. But what if I fall too far? What if I reach the point of no return? What then?

I'm brought out of my daze as the lunch bell rings and I head to my afternoon classes. Before reaching the chorus room door, Bryan sneaks up behind me. I slightly jump as I was so in my head I didn't realize he was behind me.

"You okay?" He asks with concern clearly etched on his face.

"Yeah. I'm just nervous about the bonfire. And this performance coming up in a few months." I state slightly, looking down so he can't read my facial expression. He reaches his finger under my chin, pulling my eyes toward him.

"One, you're an amazing singer and performer, so you have nothing to worry about there. Two, the bonfire will be fun and I promise to make sure no one makes you feel uncomfortable. So no more with the nerves, okay?" He pleads.