Cafe 7 Dream (RenHyuck)

17

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jeno quietly asks Haechan while the other two are in the kitchen.
"Talk about what?" Jeno scoffs.
"Your vacation? I mean, did you ever find what you were looking for?" He asks irritated. Haechan frowns.
"It wasn't a vacation, and no. It was here all along." Jeno hums.
"Yeah, I know." He says with a sigh.
"Are you guys ok though? Like really ok? Because he was in a bad place, you know?" Haechan sighs.
"I know. I'm glad you told me. I have a lot of regrets you know. I'm sorry for everything, I don't mean to be such a fuck up at life, I just am." He sighs again.
"Jen, I honestly don't deserve him, I'm happy that he loves me but, I feel like he's better than I'll ever be. I can't take back the wrongs I've done. I wish I could go back in time you know?" Jeno presses his lips in a firm line.
"Well, since you can't go backwards then the best you can do, is to do your best today. Mistakes or not? We are all your family, we all love you and want what's best for you. No matter your mistakes, we love you. He loves you. Just be honest about your feelings and things will be ok." He sighs again.
"I hope it's that simple. I have to tell him everything, and that's what scares me. What if I hurt him more?" He doesn't expect Renjun to be standing there, he isn't ready for this.
"Tell me, what's everything Haechan? What is it that is going to hurt me so bad? I've been hurting long enough and all I want is happiness and you. What could you possibly tell me that could hurt worse than not knowing where the person you love was for six weeks? Just tell me now so I know if I should keep hoping for this to work." Jeno looks at Jaemin and they both head for the door.
"You guys talk, get it all out this time. You know where we are if you need us." Jeno says as they head out. Haechan is shaking as he sits on the couch and puts his head in his hands. Renjun can't take his eyes off him and honestly, the longer it takes for him to speak, the more scared he is.
"I just need to tell you about everything that happened, good and bad, while I was away and I'm nervous about how you will feel about it." Renjun walks slowly over and sits by him, he sets his crutches to the side and takes his hand.
"Did you stop loving me?" He asks quietly. Haechan frowns.
"Absolutely not." Renjun smiles softly.
"Then I'm sure everything is fine." Haechan sighs.
"I started in Italy, it was pretty and while I wanted to soak in the view, I was heartbroken and couldn't see beauty in anything. I was angry, even though I didn't have a right to be. I was hurt that you didn't tell me you were dating someone, I felt like above all else we were best friends." He wipes his eyes and can't look at Renjun because he knows that hurt him and he feels like it's only going to hurt worse when he's done.
"I couldn't tell you because I was ashamed. I was trying to run from my feelings and I was so ashamed because as much as I told myself that it could really work, I knew deep down that I would always love you and that I was using him and I was not proud." He chuckles bitterly.
"There was a part of me that deep down, didn't want you to ever find out." Haechan squeezes his hand and kisses his cheek.
"I understand. I know how you feel about that." He takes a deep breath and decides to just say it.
"Renjun when I was in Italy, I, I uh, fuck. I was angry and drunk and I slept with someone." He feels Renjun stiffen beside him as his own tears fall more rapidly.
"I, well. It's not like we were together or anything. You didn't know how I felt so I guess I understand." Haechan cries and pulls away.
"Why are you being so understanding? Fuck, get mad at me Renjun, I deserve it. I'm so ashamed, that isn't me. I hated every second of it and I hate myself for it. I only did it because I was sad." He sighs in defeat.
"I was always going to save myself for you." He says with a deep regret in his voice. Renjun pulls him into his arms and rubs his back.
"It's ok Haechan, you are human and you make mistakes. All you can do now is learn from it. I'm not mad and I'm not hurt, I'm a smidge disappointed that I will be the only inexperienced one and probably not do it right, but it doesn't change how I feel. Even though it won't be your first time, you will be with me for mine and that means everything." Haechan swallows thickly looking in his eyes.
"How are you the best person in the whole world? How am I the luckiest person alive?" Renjun giggles as he sees literal stars in his eyes.
"Thank you for being so understanding, i hope one day I can forgive me because I really had been waiting for you, I only ever wanted to be with you in that way and it fucking kills me that I fucked it up. I hate myself so much and I feel like you should too." Renjun sighs and softly kisses his lips.
"I love you so much, Haechanie and I trust you and I would like to build a life with you so we both need to let go of the things that we regret and start fresh. Take me on an amazing date, maybe on Friday?" Haechan's eyes widen.
"That's a lot of pressure, amazing, ok, I can do amazing?"
Renjun giggles.
"Haechan, just being with you is amazing, the date is just a bonus." He kisses his lips again and watches a relieved smile stretch across his face. He pushes Haechan back to relax onto the couch cushion and snuggles into his chest.
"Tell me more." He whispers.
"I want to hear about your adventures and mishaps." Haechan smiles knowing he truly is the luckiest person alive.