Colossal Damage

25 . Confession

"Paris , you are probably the most frustrating human on this planet . "I scoff and I'm about to say something but he places his finger against my lip . I bite it of course .

"Naughty Jaws ." He snickers .

"You're not someone you figure out with knowing for a few years. There is so much more to you . I have feelings for you and I'm tried of biting my tongue . You are gorgeous (yet so insecure but let me tell you that you have nothing to be insecure about ). You are smart ( you always test the waters before you dive in ) . You are funny ( there really is no elaboration needed because I'm sure you've met yourself ). The list could go on really . But what I'm trying to say . Your very existance changes who I am . I can't eat at lunch seeing you snuggled with that Joey . (Don't think I'm only saying this because of my jealousy . That is one reason though ) I'm saying this because from the moment I set my gaze on you . I never saw what the world sees . I saw this flame . I'll be the moth and it will be worth getting burnt . You have no idea how insane you make me . I am a person with very little self control . I shocked myself at how long it took for me to just kiss you . Staring at your lips everytime we talk is dangaling a carrot in front of a donkey . And let me tell you it's been torture . I really like you . You heard my dad I did go to him . I never do that . But you're so different , and I don't want to make a single mistake with asking you out . So , Paris Miller ( my frustrating Pinky ) ... will you be my girlfriend ?" He says out of breath .

The breath has been knocked right out of me . I mean I like Carter else I wouldn't have kissed him . But , dating him ...

Do I like him that much ?

"Of course you do dummy ." For once the little voice in my head knocks some sense into me .

"You don't have to give me an answer today ." He sighs and scratches the back of his head . He looks at me and the dissapointment is clear in his eyes. He steps forward and kisses my forehead .

"Get some sleep . I'll see you at school tomorrow ... Pinky ." He smiles softly when he says my nickname .

I sit on the kitchen counter for I don't know how long . After Carter left , I sat there thinking . I do like him . There was no questions needed . He gets me all riled up and it's been delicious to see tell tales of the real me . That is all because of him . I just can not believe he has feelings for me . What about Joey ? We're not in a relationship but his been flirting and sitting with Willow , Mags and I for the past almost month now .

Ring ! Ring !

The faint sound of my alarm clock hits my ears . I sat here through the night . I never slept . Instead a sat on this kitchen counter until sunrise .

I don't bother going upstairs . I make myself a bowl of cereal . As usual I stare at it until it gets soggy . Only eating six spoons but then feeling bad for wasting I take the bowl with me up to my room . I take out my clothes for today : a grey hoodie and jeans . It's one of those days I want to hide from the world .

I force the rest of the cereal down my throat feeling slightly nausious afterwards . I wait a few seconds on my bed . Then finally decided to go and shower . The scalding water runs down my body over my tense muscles . Little bits of grass are washed out of my hair . I wince when I see a small bruise on the side of my leg (probably when we fell on the grass ).

Getting dressed . I pass my mirror .

"So you're still ignoring me ." The little voice stops me in my tracks . I walk to stand in front of my mirror and there she is .

"That was all in your head last night . Why would Carter like you . Look at yourself ... your outfit choice for today . Chikes !" She smirks at me . I cover my ears and close my eyes . She is gone .

"I'm in your head not in the mirror dummy ." My breathing quickens and I close my eyes tighter .

"Your sister is right . An apple for breakfast for a week will do you some good ." Get out ! I open my eyes and before I know what I'm doing . I yank my mirror from the wall and I throw it onto the floor .

Crash ! The mirror meets the floor with all my strength . Wet hot tears are streaming down my cheeks . Glass is everywhere on my floor . I finally open my eyes and realize I've cut myself . My feet where the mirror shattered also have cuts because I'm barefoot . My breathing quickens as I choke on my tears . I feel myself closing off as I croach onto my bedroom floor covered in glass as London's chuckles echo through my mind . She , Danny and the minions had chucked punch all over me on our sixteenth birthday . I remember being so excited to wear my dress . It was all ruined and everyone was laughing at me , but my sisters cackles were the loudest ...

AN : if you a Caris fan I pressume you are through the roof 😂.

Jaris ...

I kinda tortured Paris in this chapter . Now I'm sure its obvious her sister is the reason she gets these attacks .

xoxo

Lauralie2007