Colossal Damage

27. Getting it off my chest

As soon as we reach my car he gestures for me to give him the keys . I reach in my bag and hand them to him . I open my door and step in .

Bang ! We close our doors simultaniously . I yawn as the car starts . Carter brushes his hand against mine making me glance over to look at him . He frowns when he sees my brusised and cut hands but ignores it and holds my hand .

The sleep I've been fighting catches up with me and as soon as the car is in motion , I get lulled to sleep . I feel the car come to a stop but I don't dare disrupt my sleep . He can leave me in the car . I feel my seat belt get unbuckled . Then I hear retreating footsteps and the familiar sound of the alarm being disarmed . Caters footsteps near me and I feel his hands hook under my legs and then behind my back . I feel myself being lifted from the car and panick .

"It's okay ." He hushes me and brings me to his chest . He uses his foot to close my car door .

"Good afternoon Mrs Franklin ." I hear him greet the neighbour .

"Afternoon son . Is everything okay with Paris ?"  She asks concern rich in her voice .

"Yes , Ma'am I think she is coming down with a cold . But don't worry I've got her . I'll ring you if I need you . Thank you for asking ." He walks into the house after Mrs Franklin says she'll stop by later to check up on me .

I snuggle into his chest . He is so warm and so gentle with me . I yawn again as my sleep deepens .

"Pinky ." Carter gasps I'm sure because of the glass all over my bedroom floor . I hear it close and another door open . He lays my sleeping form onto a soft matress and pillow . My body relaxs into the bed and my sleep deepens . The last thing I feel is my shoes being taken off and a kiss to my forehead .

I sit up in bed and rub the sleep from my eyes . My surroundings confuse me . Why am I in the guess bedroom ? Instead of my skin touching my face soft cotton bandages do . I look at my feet and see they are covered too . I put my feet on the ground and stretch . I wince when I stand up and walk out of the room . I limp downstairs to find Carter at the stove . As soon as he sees me he walks in my direction and pulls me in for a hug . My hands go to wrap around his neck and his around my waist . Both our head in each others necks .

"I made dinner ." His breath lightly tickles my neck making goosebumps rise.

"How long have I been out ?" My voice is still thick with sleep .

"Long enough to get some rest I hope ." He pulls away to brush my hair out of my face . He walks me to the table where he sets a hot steaming plate of chicken cottage pie . I dig right in . It's then when I burn myself swalloing the hot food that I realize how hungry I was .

"This is delicious ." Carter gives me a grin similar to the one Nova gives her dad and I smile at the resemblance .

"Mom taught me ." He goes to grab both our plates to wash and dry them .

"Thank you ." I gesture to my feet and hands . He nods and walks up to me and takes a seat besides me .

"What happened ?" He takes my well bandged hand into his .

"Panic attack . I had two today . "I sigh rubbing my eyes .

"Let's go to your room ." I nod and follow him upstairs . When we walk in my floor is spotless , no glass and not a single drop of my blood .

"Thank you ." He smiles and leads me to sit against the headboard of my bed .

"Do you want to talk about them ?" I think about this for a second and decided I finally tell someone .

"Ummm..." I clear my throat .

"They used to get triggered by me looking into the mirror . Like I would have this self doubt telling me I'm not good enough and I'm worthless ." I look down at my hands and let out a jaggered breath .

He takes my hand into his and strokes the little bit of my palm that is not in bandages .

"It's like all of my attacks are linked to a certain event in my life that left a scar in my life . For instance like little words I've heard people say to me when they belittle me ."

"By people , you mean London ." I look up at him and flush .

'"Am I correct ?" I nod in response .

"That was this mornings one and I thought by getting rid of the mirror it would help . It was an in the moment thing . Then I sat in the glass and just couldn't breath . It was I think maybe three hours of it before I was freed . That's why I was late . It left like the world was closing in on me . I could hear her voice in my head and it was so frustrating I couldn't block them out . I was scared . I felt so alone . Eventually I guess it stopped and that was when I came to school ." Carter pulls my head to his shoulder and strokes my hair soothingly .

"Then I thought I could avoid everyone by going to the field but I guess I was wrong . Joey asked me out and there was a crowd of people behind him . I felt eyes on me and it was like I was sucked back into my sixteenth birthday . When London had ordered everyone to throw me into the pool after she'd ruined my dress . Then when Joey touched me it triggered that memory . Everyone was shoving me and throwing me towards the pool . I was crying and my sister just looked at me laughing . She was suppose to protect me , Carter. But she never ..." Carter wipes under my eyes and that is when I realize I'm crying . He hugs me to his chest and rocks my shaking form gently . She should have protected me but she never . She tormented me over and over again .

"I've got you ." He whispers kissing the top of my head .

AN: her sister should have protected her but instead she was her greatest bully .

xoxo

L2007