Colossal Damage

39 . Cacoon

"Paris ." He pats my cheeks lightly . I try to open my eyes but they feel so heavy . I see Carter's blurry features stare down looking at me.

"Carter get her in the -" I'm swept under . The darkness covers me like a thick , woolen blanket . However,the pain in my skull radiates, no burns like an everlasting flame . I could scream and curl up into a ball right this second , but my body is resisting. I have no control .

Hi ; my name is Paris Miller , and I'm broken . I've admitted it, finally . It's time you finally meet me. I'd refer to myself as a black hole that consumes anything and everything that is in its path . For instance. my boyfriend keeps getting pulled out of school because of my episodes . Mrs D probably hates me . I'm bad for him , funny when his the bad boy . The pain suddenly disappears as quick as it came . I exhale and feel my body relax . But ,you know what comes next when... I relax . I succumb to those inner turmoils that linger in my mind. They wait for the perfect moment to inflict their torture . Now is the perfect window to torture me.

"Paris !" I flinch when I hear that scream again .

"Hel-" Her screams are cut off by a loud beeping.

"No !" I jolt up shouting. My chest rises fast and my eyes scan the bright room . I can feel my heart beat in my ear . A hand grabs mine and I flinch . My eyes sting with unshed tears . I shut them tightly and bring my arms around myself . I form a barrier around myself . I have to protect myself, no one else will . Not even my own sister ...

"Paris ." Mrs D's voice echoes in my ear .

"Doctor !" I hear her shout . Perfect , I'm having an episode in front of her . I grit my teeth and dig myself deeper into the cocoon I've created to shelter my body . I'm embarrassed.

"Paris ." She tries again . Eventually ,at some point I uncurl myself . I meet her eyes and they are soft . The eyes of a mother . My heart aches and yearns for that motherly touch that my mum's profession robbed me of . She must sense this . She shows me her hands ; before , she steps close to me and wraps her arms around me . I bite my cheek to distract myself from the tears that want to fall . Mum , I miss you . I wish you were around more . I crave that familiarity of home . My home is London . She is all I have. Mum and dad are strangers . We don't know each others . It was always me ,London and Aunt Frey (dad's twin sister ) . When she passed on, we were sixteen. Since then , it has been just me and London . London and I .London may be you know , but she is my person . She's all I've ever had . She understands this suffering . It's the thing that makes us sisters . We share the same pain of not having a family.

"It's okay ." She gently rubs circles on my back.

"You have a mild concussion. " Doc tells me ;once, I've calmed down enough to not fidget like a small child.

"Would you like to tell us what happened?" I twiddle my fingers in my lap not having the guts to look Mrs D and the Doctor in the eyes .

"Paris ." I sigh and dare look up . Mrs D steps forward and takes my hands into her warm one's. My eyes well up once again . I look at Mrs D's eyes . They are identical to Carter's . That is what pushes me to confess.

"I had a panic attack . "Is all I say .

"Do you have these often?"

"No!" I'm quick to respond . Doc and Mrs D exchange a look that leaves me uneasy. They leave the room and talk outside . I nibble at my nails and study the room .

It's so bland. White everything. Well it is a hospital room . The air is sterile . It's so clean; I'm nervous to pollute it with my carbon dioxide .

So how do you feel now that you've met me ?

You'd realise I'm just a kid that I guess yearns for her mother . Her broken family. For that security only a mother's arms can provide . I yearn for my family. I have these faint memories of London ,Mum , Dad and I all in the same room together . They are so faint I have to always close my eyes and concentrate to remember them . Pictures that litter the walls of the house remind me I have parents. If it weren't for them , you'd think it is just London and I .

I yawn and snuggle into the uncomfortable hospital bed . I haven't slept for two days . Passing out does not count as sleeping. Then I remember just before my eyes close. The screams... they'll haunt me.

AN: boring and short I know . This was more of a filler chapter. You'd realise my twins never had a proper home . It's scared them both not just Paris . London is the way she is for a reason.

L2007

The next chapter will be better .