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TOMORROW.
It's been days since I've seen Y/n, and there's only one week left until the guys and I have to return to our world.
I still haven't gotten rid of my notebook, and I don't know if I'll be able to, but I do know that I'm tired of chasing after Y/n.
I'm so tired, but bringing myself to get over her is something I don't even want to think about. It's clear that I've spent too much of my life caught up on her.
So many of my years wasted on false hope. And everything that's happened, was all one lie after another. I never would have imagined Y/n to be that type of person—the type to play with my heart.
There's a place in my mind, where it's dark and quiet, like a storage room. It's filled with unwanted versions of myself. I hate this place.
I scratch my arms just thinking about what a shitty situation I've gotten myself into.
My palms sweat and I can feel my heartbeat coming from them. Explosions are my quirk, that's ironic, considering my explosive past.
A key turns the lock to that forbidden place in my head and all of me is overwhelmed with sensations of old habits.
The silence is killing me.
"EVERY FUCKING TIME I TRY TO BE A GOOD PERSON SOMETHING HAS TO RUIN IT! EVERY. DAMN. TIME. I'M TIRED! I'M SO—" I finally blurt out.
Then I take some deep breaths.
"Why can't I be happy?" I whisper.
Myah rubs my back and wipes some vomit off my lips. It seems the toilet is the only one who won't leave me no matter how messy things get between us.
"Hey, Katsuki, do you remember when I used to call you Mr. Pretty Face?" She asks me.
I look at her and nod my head, remembering what a small, precious child she was back then. "And also when Mason made you jealous by pretending he was Y/n's boyfriend." She laughs.
"I wasn't jealous." I mutter.
She runs her hands through my hair. I stare at her, at the little girl who's the most comforting sibling I've never had. She grabs my face and caresses every corner of it.
"You know, I really did want you and Y/n to be endgame, but honestly, if she can't see what an amazing and beautiful individual you are, then it's better that you guys don't end up together."
"But I'm so in love with her, Myah."
"But she doesn't deserve your love, Katsuki. She's toxic. Y/n doesn't know how to love someone as good-hearted as you. And you don't deserve to feel like shit because of her. I know it hurts right now, but I promise you the pain will pass and you'll learn to live a happy life without her."
She's right, but I wish she wasn't. I wish there were still a last option in which Y/n and I could have our happily ever after. A future where I'm happy with her and she's happy with me.
"How is he?" Ejirou comes into the bathroom with little Jeon in his arms. We're babysitting him while his parents enjoy their last night out before they have to return to work.
Jeon reaches his arms out to me. He's frowning like he knows something is wrong with me and it's making him upset too. I smile and get up to wash my hands and face before taking him from Ejirou.
"Kitty Kat," He puts his small hands on my face. I raise my eyebrows and the nickname he's given me. I don't mind the name.
I grin and rub the softness of his hand. I'm going to miss my little Jeony. It feels the first time I've ever had a baby brother. He would've made the perfect brother in law.
Denki and Mason barge through Myah's bedroom door. "We overheard my mom say that Y/n is coming back tomorrow for something she forgot." Mason says.
Denki nods and adds to what the boy just told me, "Yeah! Just her. This is your chance to try and change her mind!"
I sigh and hand Jeon back to Kiri so that I can take a seat on the bed and process what they're telling me.
The night Y/n ended things with me, I walked back to the Wilson's house and laid on the rooftop, not to look at the stars, but to see the Y/l/n's roof. That roof, with so many memories.
Her love for me might have died after she met Devin, but my love for her remains alive.
I think it's impossible for me to let her go, so I never will. I'll let the thoughts of what could have been haunt me for the rest of my life.
Even if I died and were given the chance to erase all knowledge of my old life so that I could start brand new, I would rather stay dead and have the memories of us with me.
If our love can't live on within her, I'll let it reside within me.
And if tomorrow is my last chance to save our crumbling relationship, I'll give it my all, I'll go 'beyond plus ultra.'
