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MY EX.
I've given her an ultimatum. Maybe it wasn't the best decision, but it was one I've been thinking of giving her for the past week.
He calls for her, but she doesn't seem to hear him. Our eyes refuse to part from each other, as if looking into them is the only hope for whatever this is to survive.
Her legs give out and she falls. "Y/n?" Devin kneels behind her and puts his hands over her shoulders. I don't think she knows that he's there. I've trapped her in my gaze. And I'm begging for her to say something.
Her lips depart for a brief moment before they're quickly shut, again. She's giving me the same look like back then.
A look full of promises that don't last.
I furrow my eyebrows, and gulp, finding it difficult to keep the sides of my lips from dipping as I watch the tears that are streaming down her face.
"I'm breaking up with you." She finally says. I gasp, but my heart drops when I realize what she really means. "You have to understand, Kat—Kai. Devin is the man I'm with."
"But..." I step back, closer to the ledge. Within me, I feel a fire I haven't felt in a few years. Loathe—that's what I feel—along with envy and sadness.
Somehow I relax myself and contain the inner child in me who's still running around inside. The child within me that took his anger out on everything and everyone. The immature me.
"You're leaving me a second time?" I smile. I don't know why I'm smiling. This smile hurts. It feels like needles are puncturing my skin, forcing my lips to lift up.
"YOU LEFT ME!" She screams, and my smile fades. I drop my head and let my hair hide my face, but the tear drops falling to the ground give my emotions away.
"I never left you...I made sure to speak to you every single night. There was no way to actually talk to you, but the stars made If feel like I had you there with me. Everyone thought I was crazy talking to someone they couldn't see, but I didn't care. And I made sure I didn't forget all our memories. I asked fucking Izuku for a journal so that I could write every single detail down. To this day I—"
I reach into the pocket of my sweatpants and grab the small, black notebook I've had with me this whole time. "I keep this with me," my fingers flip through all the pages filled with words and some even stains from my tears.
"Because I need you. I need to be with you. Because you are my universe, Y/n. I can't lose you, not again."
The grip on my notebook tightens the longer she stays silent. Why are you looking at me like that? Like what I've just told you changes nothing. She's too silent, and it doesn't look like she's going to say anything—at least not what I want to hear.
"SAY SOMETHING!" I blurt. I don't mean to yell, but I can't suppress my feelings any longer. This is what I've been trying to bury, but somehow the aggression within me always makes it's way out.
I've learned to control it very well. Up until now there has been nothing that's broke the lock to this past version of myself I've been hiding.
"I choose Devin."
Wide eyed, I lift my notebook up in the air. Her eyes are no longer on me. I force myself to propel my arm forward and then throw it back behind me, letting the book fall off the building.
I close my eyes. All those memories awaken, flashing by me like shooting stars. I see Y/n.
I groan, annoyed with myself because even after she chose him, I still want her. I speak profanities because I've just thrown something precious to me, off the edge of the building.
And then, without caring, I throw myself off too. I'm falling. The air is cold, and it's only now that I notice it's snowing.
She screams my name but I don't bother looking up. I'm busy free falling, looking for my book, so that I can catch it before it falls to the ground.
The second I spot it, I grab it, as I'm still in the air, and hold it to my chest. Before I accidentally kill myself, my explosions break my fall, letting me land safely.
Worrying about the exposure of my quirk is the last thing I'm concerned about, because when I look up, she's not looking down at me.
-ˋˏ ༻💥༺ ˎˊ-
He jumps off the side of the building only seconds after throwing his book. My immediate reaction is to run after him and check if he's ok, but I remember he's a super human.
So with that thought in mind, when Devin tries to hurry and see what'll become of Katsuki, who looks like he's committed suicide, I pull him back so that he doesn't see Katsuki's quirk.
Keeping his power a secret is the least I can do after breaking his heart.
"It's cold. Let's go back inside." I tell him. He looks at me like I'm crazy. This does look bad though, but there's only one way I can get him to remember this night as a dream.
"I need a couple of drinks. Please don't make me stay out here any longer."
"Y/n..."
"You told me you'll always love me no matter what. So come on Devin, let's just get out of here."
I grab his hand and pull him to the door. We don't go back to the others. I take him to the empty bar where I basically shove drink after drink into his mouth, praying that he'll get so drunk, he'll pass out.
Twenty minutes later, I'm hauling him back to the now empty penthouse, and lay him down on one of the beds.
Then I slip myself out of my clothes and lay down next to him, but not before I grab a piece of paper out of the pocket of my pants.
It's an old note I found inside one of the pillowcases in my old room. I planned on reading it earlier but I never got the chance because this week has been so eventful.
I open it. The first word on the note is my name. A tear falls from my eye and onto the paper as I notice the handwriting.
Y/n, my head hurts like a bitch. This lady gave me the nastiest apple juice I've ever tasted, and it doesn't help that I'm missing you. You're better than really good apple juice. I'd choose you over all the spicy world in the food, any day. You're beautiful, even though you love to test me. I think I should sleep, and if I don't wake up here, just know, I won't forget you. You're too annoying to forget anyway. Sorry my head broke, but I deserve it for all the times I made you cry.
The last sentence makes me laugh. That, and, "I'd choose you over all the spicy world in the food, any day," still gets me every time.
"Looks like I'm the sorry one this time, huh, Katsuki?" I whisper to myself.
This is always how it was going to end. I know this, and I thought he did too, but I guess I was wrong.
Maybe I shouldn't have entertained his actions like I did. Maybe if I had slowly distanced myself, we could have ended on good terms.
Maybe even be friends.
Friend. That word, it doesn't feel right to label him as that. I definitely made the right choice in choosing Devin over an old spark, but then why do I feel like absolute shit about it?
I put the note back in the pocket and turn the lights off. Though I don't know how I'll get any sleep after tonight. I just hope that even after my selfish acts, Katsuki can find a way to sleep peacefully.
