Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
PERFECT.
It's already past nine o'clock when we make it back to our apartment, from a long day of doing good deeds, and taking a trip to the movies. We always spend our nights out like this, each weekend. College is a fucking drag, but with Devin, everything seems easier.
In a few more months we'll both graduate, together, just like we graduated from high school, together. I like it like this, us doing everything, together. I'm still a very anxious person, that much about me hasn't changed, I don't think it ever will. So to have him with me, all the time, makes me feel much better.
We walk into our bedroom and he falls back into the bed. I stand there, a few feet away, admiring him. We both go to the gym regularly, so seeing his body is normal, but some days I can't help but to sigh in awe, at his physique. Not to mention, this man's face is a fine piece of artwork.
His eyes have always been my favorite part of him. The way his lashes are curled up, naturally, and how the brown color of them looks so soft and beautiful in the sunlight. For whatever reason, these little features remind me of how patient and understanding he is, with me.
The first time I told him that I love him, was when we were about two years into our relationship. He'd said it way earlier than me, though, with only ten months in, but I guess it was easier for him. Devin is always telling me cute little stories about how he fell for me in high school, even before we became friends.
Apparently he had a huge, secret, crush on me. According to him, so did a lot of other boys. When he told me that, I found it hard to believe, but I didn't really socialize with anyone back then—I can't remember why, but I was pretty much a weird loner.
When I told him, 'I love you,' back, he freaked out. I basically startled him, the poor guy bawled his eyes out for almost an hour, from how happy he was. That day, I knew for sure he was the man for me. I love Devin, with all my heart. Everyone loves Devin, he's good with parents, kids, elderly, and animals.
One day, while we were on a walk, we passed by a homeless man, and Devin gave him the hundred dollar bill in his pocket. Since that day, we've crossed paths with the man, on many occasions. So when he took us to where he slept, among other homeless people, I talked to Devin about opening a homeless shelter.
Since he and his dad are loaded, we were able to open one up here, in town. It's called, 'Porter Gives,' which I think is adorable. Currently there's over fifty people sleeping there, under the surveillance of staff, but we plan on expanding the building, as much as possible.
Man, I love helping others.
Devin notices me staring. I smile at him, as I close the space between us, when I walk closer, and sit on his lap. "Hey there," his hand grazes against my thigh. I lean in closer to him and our lips meet. The taste of popcorn and sugary treats still lingers in our mouths.
"Babe, you taste like butter," I put my hand on his face, feeling the smoothness of his shaved skin. I kiss him again, this time, more aggressively, like he's a piece of food—ramen.
"Dev, you're so perfect," I say between kisses.
"Aw man," he wraps both arms around me, "You stole my line."
It's true, he's always the first to say something sweet, but today is my turn. I lift my shirt up, revealing my black bra to him. His expression shifts, in surprise to my actions.
"Y/n.." he whispers, watching me as I slowly pull his shirt up. We begin to suffocate ourselves in kisses, again. His mouth moves to my neck and then I twitch a bit when I finally notice the bump under my butt.
With one hand, I slip into his pants. The expression on his face has me snapping mental pictures of him. I continue this motion for a while, until I find myself on my back with Devin now on top. I pull him to me for more kisses.
Then I feel his hands pulling my pants down and I voluntarily spread my legs apart. I want him. I want this. I crave this. At the sound of his pants unbuttoning, I close my legs back up and shake my head.
"Hey, babe, what's wrong?" He asks me.
"I can't, Devin. I'm still not ready...I'm sorry.." I try to avoid his gaze. He quickly zips up his pants and turns my head to look at him straight in the eyes.
"Look at me, Y/n, baby, I love you, and I don't care about sex, it's not necessary. You don't have to force yourself to do something you don't want to do, just so you can 'please me.' Sex is nice, yes, but even if you're never ready to do it, I would be okay with that. It's something I can live without. We wouldn't be able to have our own kids, yeah, but adoption is a thing."
"Devin..." I sniffle. He gets off of me, and we both sit there, next to each other. He covers me with our blanket.
"Now tell me...of everything that you just did, how much of it was something you were one hundred percent certain of?"
I look down, feeling disappointed with myself. It's the first time I've ever touched him there,directly, without a piece of clothing to separate my hand from it. We take baths together, but I'm always wearing bikinis, and he's always wearing trunks.
"I—when—the kisses." I sigh.
He sighs as well, and gets up, pacing back and forth a bit, until he finally kneels down in front of me and holds my hands in his.
"Y/n," I can tell by the look on his face that he's on the verge of crying. "Y/n, hey, look at me," his voice begins to soften into a quiet whisper.
"Please, don't ever force yourself to do something sexual with me, if you're not certain that you want it. I know you. I know you so well. I know you watch too many dramas, and hear stories from your friends, but I promise you that I won't ever be disloyal to you. You're all I need. If you force yourself to do something you don't want to do, again, you'll break my heart."
This man, he's not only my lover, but also my guardian, and best friend. What did I ever do to deserve a love so perfect. A love so wonderful, in every way.
"I'm sorry, Devin," I drop my head into his shoulder and begin to cry. He's so perfect, and I always seem to find a way to screw things up, unintentionally.
"No, I'm sorry, Y/n, I should've noticed, from the start, that something wasn't right. I should've asked you if you were okay with what you were doing to me. I won't make that same mistake again, I promise."
It's true, whenever Devin promises something, he goes through with it, no matter what.
