The man next door

The cover of Mrs. Perfectionist

Anika and Gauri were shopping and playing games in the fair while Shivaay was busy in his performance. For the first time in his life, the concert seemed long and boring. For him, the charm of the song had left with her. Once in a while, the two girls would be shop-lifting, if they failed at bargaining.Holding their packets of street food, they came to the park, straight opposite to the resturant they had gone earlier.

On the other hand, Shivaay had just left the resturant when he heard Anika's voice. He looked at that direction to see her laughing her heart out. It was the first time he had seen her so relaxed. Her cover of being a sophisticated, calm and a perfect woman had shed off in front of her friend. Anika was laughing, jumping around, walking carelessly and speaking while Gauri was managing her, making sure she does not hit anyone while doing so much madness.

At last Gauri dragged her to sit on one of the benches and Anika started opening the food packets. Using both her hands, she herself ate and fed Gauri with the other hand. Shivaay silently sat on the bench which was attached right behind their seat to listen to Anika's voice and witness her madness. Her smile was reaching her eyes.

"Anika now I am going to talk about something very serious."

"I am always serious about food", Anika giggled. Gauri could not help smiling at her friend's childishness.

"For how long have you been holding it?" she asked.

"What?" Anika asked while eating the food.

"Your emotions. I saw it in your house. You were not yourself. She is not the Anika I know. My bff not someone who is submissive, she is a crackhead."

The atmosphere had turned quietly suddenly.

"Its because a crazy girl can not run a family", Anika replied calmly. She was back to her Mrs. Perfectionist form.

"You love Nikhil so much that you are changing yourself?" Gauri was stunned.

"I don't know what love is. You know that, right? And no matter whom I marry, no man can tolerate a mad girl forever, I had to change no matter what."

"But thats not you. You are compressing your emotions", Gauri protested.

"I tried to make friends here. But no one is like me. I feel left out everywhere. I am lonely even in this crowd. Am I really that weird?" Anika asked teary-eyed.

"You are not weird. You were just unfiltered. You used to always show your raw emotions. But now I felt that I can't even recognise you."

"I hate it but I also love it here. Nikhil loves me a lot. Priyanka treats me like her mother. I love to be loved. So I care for all their needs, think of their best. But I just can't let myself out. Its not that big an issue. I just wonder why I can't even express myself to Nikhil. I really suck at expressing things sometimes", Anika tried hard to smile but failed.

"Nikhil proposed you. You got in a relation with Nikhil and then married him. You married him because you fell in love with him at last, right?" Gauri wished her biggest fear does not come true.

"I guess so", Anika said, stammering. 

Gauri's biggest fear about her friend had come true, "You told me you want to be with him forever."

"He loves me and I do everything to deserve it" Anika said confidently. She knew this too well. She was the best wife anyone could wish for. 

"Is your fear of physical intimacy gone now?" Gauri said, thinking it would change the mood but she had no idea of what was coming up next.

"I guess so", Anika said smiling. But this was the smile she made whenever she made a blunder and Gauri knew it well.

"Hell no", Gauri was so shocked that she stood up.

"Sit down", Anika said, pulling Gauri towards herself.

"Have you not had sex him yet?" Gauri asked.

"Ofcourse we had" stated Anika.

"Then? How do you do it when you don't like going close to anyone? " enquired a confused Gauri.

Anika was calm, "We don't do it everyday."

"No?" Gauri was shocked.

"Nope" Anika replied casually.

"Are you sure he is not cheating on you?" Gauri questioned.

"Look the thing is this. The best thing about my marriage is Nikhil's job. He is a doctor- not a normal 9-to-5 job, and its much more stressful and tiring. So most days he is tired and he does have energy to 'make love with me'. I am an understanding wife so I do not force him", Anika said proudly.

"So this is why you agreed to marry him despite not loving him?"

"Its not like that. I love him, I care for him, respect him, do all the things for him, take care of his family, stand by him, keep him company always. You can't say that I married him because he is not a person who will fuck me everyday. It sounds bad. Moreover atleast once a month, we do it."

"How? You don't even like hugging your closest persons", Gauri still did not get it.

"I just close my eyes and do it", Anika sighed.

"He does not realise that you are hesitating?" she asked confused.

"I tell him I feel shy. You know my acting skills", Anika laughed off.

"Now let me tell you about my neighbour", Anika said, trying to break the ice of silence created by Gauri who was still digesting facts.

"The one who rejected your friend request?" an interested Gauri enquired. Anika had successfully distracted her in one chance.

"Yes. That one only. All my guy friends have always been cool, right?" said Anika pouting.

"Ig that's because we are the coolest", Gauri said it doing a hair flip. 

"The first time I met him, I thought he behaved like that because he was stressed. Then the next day, I thought he was an introvert but then that day-" Anika huffed.

"What happened?" asked Gauri who was engrossed in the story.

"There is an ice cream vendor there" Anika said pointing at the ice cream van and the next moment, she had ran towards it after saying, "I just will buy two for us."

Shivaay who had been sitting and hearing their whole conversation the whole time felt overburdened with guilt. He had blamed her of being a whore and been so mean to her, thinking that she was like his mother. He had unintentionally pushed the baggage of his past on his present relations. He was hating himself for behaving like a jerk to her. 'She should have slapped him thousand times more that time' he thought.

The real Anika was opposite to his imagination. He wished he had not been so rude to her earlier and if they had become friends, she could have spoken out her raw feelings to him. The feeling of longing to be with her had started to grow.