The man next door

He knows

Anika's pov

I knew this day would come. Nikhil has got to know it all. Its not like that I have never thought of it, infact I had imagined this situation many a times. I had imagined him locking me inside the house and hitting me or even killing me, but nothing like that actually happened. And this is what I hate the most. The way he spoke, the look in his eyes and everything about those 15 minutes makes me more and more guilty. I feel like a cheap slut who deserves to rot in hell. I did the worst thing a lady could do- I broke everyone's trust.

 Falling in love isn't a crime. Is it?

Well falling in love is actually not a crime but marrying someone and then getting disloyal to him is a crime. Legally adultery is not a criminal offence anymore, but we all know its wrong. Even if it was a criminal offence, I know he would never file a lawsuit against me. 

I had several nightmares of being abandoned by everyone I value, mocked by the people and ridiculed by the society for being a run-away wife. I had thought if this day actually come, I would run away to Shivaay but now I can't make myself do that. I don't know why. Its ridiculous how I came out of my house and am standing here on the terrace. 

Suddenly I fear if Shivaay will actually accept me and even if he does, would I ever be able to look into anyone eyes? Do I deserve anyone's trust? What if Shivaay cheats on me one day the way I cheated on Nikhil? The fear is getting control over me. I want to talk to someone very badly but whom to call? Gauri? 

I guess not. She will hate me. I don't want my childhood friend to hate me. Even I can't justify my infidelity.  How could she accept it?

Looking back, I wonder if Nikhil would have been less hurt if I had given different answers. 

============== 

"Nikhil Bhai, come and have dinner with us", Priyanka called him for the third time.

Nikhil was sitting on his study table and replied, "I will not eat now. Send the plare here", uninterested. He did not even care to look up and answer.

"Okay", I agreed to his command while serving the food to mom.

--------

"Nikhil. You haven't had your food yet", I saw after seeing his plate untouched.

"I am not hungry", he replied, remaining unfazed. It was unusual for him to ignore food that too when I told him so many times. He seemed unaffected by my presence.

'Maybe its due to excess workload' I thought and took my position behind him to massage his shoulder. 

The way he flinched at my mere touch shocked me. Was my worst fear coming true? Do I actually have to face this?

"Don't you have anything to say?", he asked. It sounded more like a warning, maybe a last chance to confess. But the slight hope that it was something else and not about my affair grounded me to be quiet.

"What happened?", I tried to sound as calm as ever. What followed was a minute of unusual silence. I died every second.

My eyes followed his hand as he placed the guitar keyring on the table. It was the end and I knew it.

"You must have bought it for Priyanka, huh?", he chuckled. I did not dare to speak. My grip on the chair was tightening.

"Actually I can't recognize this pair of keys", he continued as he placed the keys. I had got myself a set of the keys to Shivaay's house few months back. Shit I had forgotten to take it with me on the journey. If only I had not left behind the keys, I would not have got caught.

"They are-", I stammered, struggling to find a proper excuse. However before I could say more, he said, "I went on thinking what these keys are for and right then, a delivery man came to our door. He asked if our neighbour is there. I told I did not know him and then he said that the madam of  our house has the keys to that house and he has often seen her there. Maybe I could call for her", he gave a mocking chuckle.

"Nikhil actually-", my voice shook as I spoke. Tears brimmed up my eyes.

Getting on his feet, he suddenly pushed away the chair and grabbing my shoulders, he asked, "He blackmailed you right?", looking straight into my eyes. I could see his desperation to know that what he was thinking was all wrong and I had no hideous affair.

"I fell in love", I sighed.