my lover - Jude Bellingham

chapter eighteen

At this point I sort of just wished I never woke up this morning.

'Ellie,' Jude said.

'What?' I said, bluntly.

'I'll leave you guys,' gio said.

As he walked past me he whispered in my ear; I know it's not easy but please listen to the full story.

I rolled my eyes and sat on the sofa.

'Look...yesterday i-,' he began.

'Just tell me the truth. I don't want anymore lies.' I said.

'This is the truth el,' he said.

'Yesterday when you messaged me to come over...I was at a party. For Jobe, it was a big thing for his club and he had nobody to go with and so I said I would go with him.' He said.

'I was sat at a table on my own whilst Jobe was wherever he was and the girl in that picture you saw came and sat next to me with these other girls. I promise you I didn't do anything, they were trying to get all over me. Even ask Jobe because he saw at this point, I tried to get up and I-,' he said.

'Jude.' I said.

'Yes?' He said.

'Just say it,' i said.

'Say what?' He asked.

'Did you cheat on me or not?' I asked.

'No. I promise. I swear on my mums life. Please el...please believe me,' he said.

'Why did you lie though?' I said, my eyes watering.

'The girl was on my phone...' he said.

'On your phone? You let her on your phone?' I said. Pissed off.

'I couldn't doing anything el-,' he began.

'Whatever Jude. You could've done something. I don't know what to do or say. Maybe....we should have a break.' I said, a tear dropped onto my jumper.

'What?' He stuttered.

'We need a break. I need time for myself.' I said.

'I'm sorry Ellie. I didn't want any of this to happen. I promise If I could've got myself out that situation I would've,' he said, sounding upset.

'That doesn't matter to me, i just need time. Do what you want with other girls for now. Your not mine,' I said.

'Ellie...' he said. His eyes watering.

'I'm sorry Jude.' I said, getting up.

The last thing he said to me before I left the room was..

'I'll wait for you el, I only love you.'

Tears came flooding out my eyes as I walked upstairs.

I saw in the corner of my eye gio walking into the main room.

I sat in my room crying. I heard the front door shut and not too long later a car engine start and it began to get quieter.

I sat in my bed most of the day, scrolling on my phone and eating snacks.

Later on that day i was sat in the main room with gio.

'he wouldn't hurt you Ellie,' he said.

'Well he has,' i said.

'He didn't cheat on you...he didn't purposely make you upset,' he said.

'I don't care, he's upset me wether it was on purpose or not,' i said.

'He loves you Ellie. I promise,' he said.

I sat there with a straight face. I didn't cry, I just felt overwhelmed.

'I can't.' I said, walking out.

I went and put my shoes on and got in my car. After some driving I arrived at the church yard, where my dad was buried.

I sat down on the floor next to his gravestone.

I sat there for 2 hours, it got dark and cold but for once it didn't make me want to go home.

I lay my head down on the grass and looked up at the stars.

'I miss you so much dad, all i need right now is you,' i said.

This was one of those moments were I hoped Jude was gonna just appear and comfort me but I suppose that only happens in the movies.

My hands started to get really cold so I decided to go home, after all there was a game on tomorrow and I wanted to get some rest.