Loki Misses the Asgardian Prison System

Chapter 118

A/N Merry Christmas!!!

"And the Academy Award for pooping in the–" Clint cuts himself off with his uncontrollable laughter, which brings about laughter from much of the group. "For pooping in the candy bowl goes to–" He drops his head, eyes squeezed tightly shut as he laughs. "For pooping in the candy bowl goes to Nicholas Cage."

Half of the group finds that absolutely hilarious. Tony, for one, can hardly breathe. Even Wanda and Pietro are laughing, though they seem to be mostly laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation; they doubtlessly don't know who Nicholas Cage is. Steve and Vision are just completely lost, and Loki...

Well, he's not having much fun.

But Tony is, so he doesn't really care how Loki feels right now. He's a big Cards Against Humanity fan – big enough that he doesn't even care that he's losing. He may not have a whole lot of white cards to signify his success, but he's been laughing almost nonstop for the last hour, and that alone makes him feel like he's winning.

"This one wins," Clint declares. "By far."

Natasha flashes a smile. "I know it does." She takes the white card and adds it to her pile.

Clint scoffs. "That was you?"

"Agent Romanoff!" Tony says in disbelief, almost chastising her. "I would not expect this kind of humor from you!"

"Hey, the cards fall where the cards fall," she says. "And if Nicholas Cage wants to take a shit in the candy bowl, Nicholas Cage is gonna take a shit in the candy bowl."

Steve puts his head in his hands, and he'd almost look exasperated if they couldn't see the smile he's trying to hide.

The cards get cleaned up, and everyone picks up their two replacement cards to prepare for the next round. Tony surveys the circle, watching everyone's reactions to the cards they get. The look of utter confusion on Pietro's face is almost as funny as the cards people have been putting down.

"Alright, Wanda, you're up," Clint says.

Wanda puts her cards down and picks up one of the prompts. She lays it down in front of her. "'In the new Disney Channel original movie, Hannah Montannah struggles with blank for the first time.'"

"Oh, I got this," Tony says, not hesitating a moment to put down his card: alcoholism. It's just normal enough that it could be real. (Though that card would probably work better with someone like Natasha, Clint, or Bruce choosing the winner; Wanda probably won't find it as funny.)

Loki sighs and puts all of his cards down on the floor. "I think I'm done for the night."

"Ah, come on," Natasha says. "Play a few more rounds."

"I don't know what I'm doing," Loki says. "I don't know who Hannah Montannah is. I know nothing of this 'Disney Channel original movie.' This game is lost on me."

"Okay, see ya," Clint says absentmindedly, his attention mostly on his cards.

"I know, the pop culture ones aren't that great," Steve admits. "But there are a lot of good ones that aren't about celebrities or movies."

"And those ones are about human culture in a way that I don't understand," Loki says. "I've only found a select few entertaining, and not nearly as much as you all have. This game is not meant for people like me."

Pietro nudges Wanda and whispers something in Sokovian, which earns a giggle from her.

"I'd hardly call you two 'people,' either," Loki snaps.

Pietro blinks at that. "I did not know you understood Sokovian."

"Now you do." Loki stands up and turns to walk away.