Loki Misses the Asgardian Prison System

Chapter 172

Tony has really been busting his ass trying to get his newest project working to its fullest potential. It shouldn't be all too difficult. It practically came pre-assembled. But it's not right. There's too much room for improvement; too many things that just aren't good enough. The ex-employee who worked on this – Quinn? Quincey? It definitely started with a Q – was a genius in his own right, but he was also an absolute idiot.

Still, these holograms give him a headache after a while, and that's as good a reason as any to take a break and grab a snack and a beer. He'll get back to his project when his headache subsides.

So he makes his way to the kitchen, and he can hear the chatter and the laughter from down the hall, which is always suspicious. What are they up to? And should he be concerned?

But when he enters the kitchen, all he sees is a bunch of his friends gathered around the table, peering over and under and around each other to look at something that must be absolutely fascinating with how emphatically they're talking about it.

Nobody notices him, their attention all drawn to whatever is it that they're looking at, so he makes his presence known by very loudly and obnoxiously asking, "What're you guys up to?"

"Hey, check this out," Clint says. Tony didn't even realize he was here; he's been buried by all the people around him. "This guy is amazing."

Tony furrows his brows. This is... interesting.

He makes his way up to the table, but unfortunately, he's too short to see over Steve's shoulder, so he has to really fight to get a look in. It doesn't help that the thing they're all watching is displayed on Clint's tiny phone screen, but, after a minute or so, he does finally figure out what he's supposed to be looking at.

"Oh, Peter Parker," he remarks. He'd nearly forgotten about the kid.

"What?" Clint gives him a weird look. "Peter Parker?"

"Yeah, Spider-Man," Tony says. "It's Peter Parker – some fourteen-year-old kid from Queens."

Natasha scoffs. "How do you know that?"

Tony shrugs. "I do my research." As if he was going to see that there's a new masked hero in the area and not set about figuring out who it is. "You think he's cool, you should see Mathew Murdock." Now that one was impressive – and much harder to puzzle out, but then, if anybody is going to know how to cover their tracks, it's going to be a lawyer.

"Who's that?" Steve asks.

Tony waves that off. "Don't worry about it." It seems like he has everything under control. Who are they to get in his way?

"Hold on," Bruce says. "Can we go back to how there's a fourteen-year-old fighting crime in Queens?"

"I know, it's weird," Tony agrees. "But honestly, I think it's mostly giving tourists directions and helping old ladies cross the street and swinging through the city on weird little spider webs."

"Yeah, what's up with the webs?" Clint asks. "He, what, just shoots them out of his hands?"

"I have no idea," Tony admits. He pauses. "I hope not. That would be creepy."

Clint makes a face at that. "Yeah, you're right. That's creepy."

"I think it's pretty obvious that he's shooting them out of his hands," Natasha says. "I mean, have you watched the videos?"

"The kid's gonna get himself killed," Bruce mutters.

"I'm keeping an eye on him," Tony assures him. "But he's pretty good. He doesn't get in over his head." Not that he's seen, at least. He seems to be pretty cognizant of the fact that he is, in fact, a child, and that a child should not be getting in the middle of any violent, deadly crimes. As long as he sticks to guiding tourists and stealing back stolen purses, he should be all set.

As if reading his mind and telling him to go fuck himself for it, Steve says, "Should we track him down? I don't know if leaving a fourteen-year-old to defend all of Queens on his own is a good idea."

"And do what?" Tony asks. "The Avengers talking to him is just gonna give him an ego." And that sounds like a great way to convince him to start getting in over his head. The Avengers noticed me! I must be a great superhero! I'm gonna start doing stupid shit because apparently I'm great at it! That sounds like a nightmare.

"I don't know; just give him a number to call if he needs help," Steve says. "Before he gets himself killed."

Tony shakes his head. "Leave him alone." Or he's going to regret telling them his name. "And don't tell Loki about him, or he's going to adopt him the same way he adopted Harley in Tennessee."

"At least he'd keep the kid alive," Clint remarks.

Tony is fairly confident that the kid will keep himself alive, but he will admit, that's an interesting point. If Spider-Man ever starts doing stupid shit, he'll go have a chat with him and then send Loki to keep an eye on him.

"Would Loki track him down, though?" Natasha asks. "I mean, he hasn't started stalking Taylor Swift."

"Yet," Clint adds. "That we know of."

Steve rolls his eyes at that, which is the only reason Tony finds this funny. Bullying Loki when he's around? Boring. Tired. Overused. Bullying Loki when he's not around just to annoy Steve? Awesome. Fantastic. The best use of their time.

"Where is Loki, anyway?" Bruce asks.

"Somewhere in the compound or just outside of it," Tony answers like the smartass he prides himself on being.

This time, it's both Steve and Bruce who roll their eyes.

"He's watching his Taylor Swift concerts in his room," Steve says, because of course Steve knows exactly where he is and what he's doing.

"What, you didn't want to watch them with him?" Natasha asks teasingly.

"You know," Steve says, "I am thrilled that he's found music that he likes, but it's really not my idea of a good afternoon."

"Who wants to watch Taylor Swift when Spider-Man exists?" Clint agrees.

"I still can't believe he's only fourteen," Bruce mutters.

"I don't know; I can see it," Natasha says. "He looks pretty tiny. I'd be shocked if there was a full-grown man in there."

"And the costume definitely looks like it was made by a kid," Clint adds.

"It is pretty bad, isn't it?" Tony says.

Actually...

He really doesn't expect to end up contacting this kid – definitely not any time soon; not while he's still this young. But one day, their paths are definitely going to cross. He should probably think about making him something new to wear; something neater, safer.

When he finishes fixing up B. A. R. F., planning out a new Spider-Man suit is going to be his next order of business. The kid could really use it.