Loki Misses the Asgardian Prison System

Chapter 127

As the rest of the Avengers go their separate ways, Clint seems more than content to just sit on the floor with his head in his hands. Natasha doesn't have much else to do — honestly, she's not sure she could focus on anything but Loki if she tried — so she sits with him, letting the silence wash over them.

She wonders if they'll hear Loki's voice again. Is FRIDAY still relaying the audio now that everyone else has left? Are Loki and his mother even going to say anything, or are they going to stay there in silence the way they have for the last half-hour or so? She has no idea what to expect, though a part of her would like to hear something, just to break the silence in the room. It doesn't happen.

A few minutes pass, and Natasha decides to try her luck. She looks at her friend sympathetically. "What're you thinking about?"

"I'll give you three guesses," Clint deadpans.

Natasha sighs. That's fair. "If it's any consolation," she says, "I think we're all kind of feeling like shit right now."

"I just don't get it." Clint finally lifts his head to look at her. "Why wouldn't he say something?"

Natasha shakes her head helplessly. "I don't know," she says. "I guess he just wasn't ready to relive it." That's what it sounded like to her, though she may be projecting. There are things from her past she wouldn't want to talk about, either, though she'll usually make an exception for Clint. The fact that he hadn't even told his own brother...

"Is it selfish to say I wish he had?" Clint asks.

Natasha sighs. "Probably, but if it makes you feel any better, so do I."

Clint folds his hands on top of his knees and rests his head atop them. "Did I ever tell you that he tried to apologize?"

"Hmm?" she hums. "When was that?"

"The night he had that big freakout."

Natasha just looks at him, an eyebrow raised. That doesn't narrow it down all that much. He has a lot of freakouts.

"A few weeks ago – the night after we found the scepter," he says. "When you made me watch him 'cause he didn't want to sleep."

"He apologized?" Natasha says in surprise. She can't believe she's just hearing about this now.

"He tried to," Clint says. "I didn't let him. I basically told him to go fuck himself, and that he'd never understand why what he did was wrong because he's a shitty person who's never had an empathetic thought in his life."

Natasha's eyes go wide. "But you didn't say that."

"I don't know what I said, but it was pretty damn close," he says. "And here we are, less than a month later, and I find out he probably understands better than pretty much anyone how shitty being mind-controlled is because someone fucked with his head, too." He lets his head fall back against the wall, gazing up at the ceiling. "And then we let Wanda fuck with his head again, 'cause we're such great fucking people."

Natasha sighs and rests her own head against the wall, too. This sucks. This really fucking sucks.

After a minute or two of silence, Clint says, "You know, I'm sure Sokovia wasn't the first place he stepped in. I bet he was there when we found the scepter, too, and that's what freaked him out."

"Mm..." Natasha thinks about that for a few moments. "I don't know. I get that we weren't supposed to know he was following us around, but I don't think he'd choke Stark out just to keep up appearances."

"Oh. Right."

That sounds like the end of that conversation. Maybe it would be, if she could get it out of her head. Is he right? He can't be right. Loki's reaction to hearing that Ultron was a product of the Mind Stone seemed genuine. But the fact that he had that big nightmare the night they brought the scepter back...