Loki Misses the Asgardian Prison System

Chapter 37

TW for mentions of Loki and Bruce's suicide attempts (if you don't want to read that part you honestly won't miss anything by skipping to the second half of the chapter)

"Has Thor ever told you why I left Asgard?"

Bruce shakes his head. "He hasn't really told me anything about you." He readjusts his position on Loki's mattress, crossing his legs in front of him. He's tense, uncomfortable, but he's acting as calm as he can given the circumstances — given the position, with both him and Loki sitting on opposite sides of a single bed. "Should he have?"

"Admittedly, I would be interested to hear the spin he would put on it," Loki says. "How he'd make himself to be the hero." He gives a minute shake of his head. "I suppose it's best that he hasn't. We start with a clean slate." The internal biases Bruce harbors are no secret, nor are they unjust, but Loki trusts they won't distract from his point.

Bruce nods. "So, what happened?"

"It would take a long time to explain the centuries of mistreatment I'd faced," Loki begins. "I won't subject you to it. Suffice to say, Asgard is a warrior's realm, not fit for a scholar such as myself."

"You're saying you're not a warrior?" Bruce says skeptically.

"Not by choice," Loki says. "I've been in my fair share of battles, as you've doubtlessly seen, but it was never my forte. I would much rather be in a library than a battlefield."

Bruce huffs a humorless laugh. "Well, we've got one thing in common."

That gets a small smile from Loki. That's one of the reasons Loki kind of likes Bruce, as much as he can like a mortal he hardly knows. "I'd assumed for the longest time that this was why Thor would win the throne: he possessed the traits Asgard most admired, but not the ones needed in a king. I set out to prove that — not so I could become king, but so Thor would not.

"I conspired with the enemy," Loki continues. "Laufey, of Jotunheim. After the Allfather's baseless war with that realm a millennia ago, Asgard and Jotunheim had always had an uneasy peace; I knew their king would be as apprehensive of a boarish, brainless warmonger taking the throne as I was. I invited some of their people into Asgard, partially to disrupt Thor's undeserved coronation and partially because Asgard had something of theirs; a stolen relic locked away in our weapons vault. It was guarded by an ancient Asgardian protector — the Destroyer — so there was little chance the Jotuns would survive its defense, but if they did, they would only take what was rightfully theirs and take their leave. It would be harmless."

"I take it it wasn't harmless," Bruce says.

"Yes and no," Loki says. "The Destroyer did, predictably, destroy them, as it's apt to do. Thor's coronation was ruined, and Asgard saved from his rule for a short while longer. The Allfather was willing to overlook the betrayal of a handful of Jotuns in favor of the peace the two realms had established a thousand years prior, but Thor, the hot-headed oaf that he is, wanted revenge.

"Asgard claims to be a keeper of peace, but the peace is kept through violence, until all other realms have no choice but to submit. I'd seen right through the propaganda, but Thor truly believed it was just. I took advantage of it. I told him not to attack Jotunheim, and, as I'd expected, he took that as reason to do it."

"Wait, okay, hold on," Bruce says, and Loki looks at him expectantly. "You're complaining that Asgard achieves peace through war, but you literally came down to Earth and killed 150 people. Isn't that a little...?"

"Hypocritical? Of course it is," Loki says. "I won't argue with that. But it's also all I've ever known. I don't remember my life before Asgard. All I know is the inherent violence of the system I was thrust into."