Those Little Moments (Hatake Kakashi)

20

I didn't want to bother going back to the training ground, but as angry as I was, it felt indecent to leave the team, including the backstabber Kakashi, without a word. 

When I got there, they were training as well as usual, the two boys competing ridiculously, while Sakura got the work done without the extra pizzazz. 

Though they had been hard at work, the dark aura around me seemed to be enough to gather everyone's attention and pull them towards me. 

"Oi, oba-chan, were you crying?" Sakura promptly hit the back of Naruto's head telling him to shut up.

I forced a grin, shaking my head as I looked only in the direction of the kids. If I looked at Kakashi, I would either beat him up or start crying. "No, I just had some allergies act up. I just wanted to let you all know I won't be tagging along with your team anymore, the Hokage plans to reinstate me as a Shinobi." Naruto and Sakura both congratulated me, and I ruffled my little nephew's hair. "I'll come by and make dinner for you tonight, Naruto, and if you ever don't feel like living alone anymore, I would be honoured to be allowed to take care of you. My sister was your mother, after all."

"Really? I'd get your food three times a day?! Awesome!" Naruto hugged me, making me genuinely smile for the first time. He really had his mom's smile and mannerisms, even if he did look exactly like his dad.

"Yep, and your apartment will finally be clean enough to live in too! You can tell me all about your missions at the end of the day, huh?" I prattled, hugging him close to me again. Part of me was using the happiness of moving in with my nephew as a shield against the strong emotions I was desperately trying to hide, but I could feel I wouldn't be able to appear happy much longer. "So how about it? We get a bed set up in your super messy storage room and I can stay with you?"

Naruto nodded eagerly, and I ruffled his hair again. It had quickly become one of my favourite things.

"Well, I'll get going now. Good luck on your future missions all of you!" I cheered to the three kids. As I turned to go, my eyes caught Kakashi's confused one, and my smile fell completely to glare at him full force for a split second, before I was leaving.

Behind me, I heard Kakashi say, "Hey, let's wrap it up for today."

I tried to speed up my walking, but he grabbed my wrist as we entered the streets of Konoha, pulling me into an alleyway. Without him noticing, I summoned adamantine chains around his ankles.

"What's going on, Emiko? Why did the Hokage suddenly decide this? It's been years since you've fought, you're not rea-" Before he could finish his sentence, I slapped him full force across the face. Not a punch, a full on, humiliating slap.

"You arrogant bastard! Don't think you're better than everyone else!" I yelled, my eyes already watering. "I'm well aware of how 'not ready' you think I am." I scoffed, wiping the tears falling down my cheeks with my sleeves, while Kakashi just stared wide-eyed. I wished I could see his face to see the mark my slap had left. "You know, I really thought of you as a friend, Kakashi." That was the first time I'd ever said his first name, and it was while I was crying. I couldn't even tell if he realized that I'd said it, if it mattered to him, because of his stupid mask. "Since we were kids, I've always looked up to you and admired you out of all my friends, before and after the kidnapping, but do you even consider me to be your friend? You barely engage with anything I say, even though we live together, you don't hug me the way Kurenai and Guy do, even Asuma does, I don't even know what your face looks like, much less the type of expression you have around me, and you just don't give any indication that you care about me at all. Do you even think of me as a friend?"

He didn't answer, his mind seemed to be racing the same way it had been yesterday at the end of that fight, but this time, there was no winner to the chaos in his eyes.

"That's what I thought. Cuz what kind of friend tells the Hokage that I can't do anything to protect myself, even in the village, and that I shouldn't come back to work. That I should stay being a meaningless cheerleader for a team of Genin for the rest of my life. You don't think of me as anything other than some helpless, good for nothing, damsel in distress! All I am to you is a burden, but you were my oldest friend. In a way, when I first got back, and even when I was in solitary confinement with nothing but hallucinations to keep me company, you were my lifeline." I choked on a sob. "You were one of my most important people, but I was nothing to you!" I swallowed down another cry, and hardened my expression, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him towards me. "Well, don't worry, Kakashi, I'm plenty strong enough to take care of myself, and I don't need you anymore. I'm moving out, now, and if you decide, eventually, you wanna actually be friends with me, you better have a damn good apology, and don't you dare expect anything from me." I turned away, wiping away more fallen tears. "The chains will go away when I'm done packing."

"Wha- When did you..." Kakashi mumbled.

"I told you, I'm not weak."

I ran back to Kakashi's apartment, hastily packing my clothes, toiletries, and any other belongings, before heading out, slamming the door behind me. When I was halfway to Kurenai's house, I unleashed my hold on Kakashi's chains, wiping away any last remaining tears. I knocked on her door, trying my best to smile.

"Emi? What's wrong?" Kurenai asked, pulling me into a comforting hug.

"Can I stay with you for a few days, Kure?"

"Of course, whenever you need."

The door shut behind us, and I knew that I was with a true friend, one who would not betray me, and that made me cry all the more. That night, I had to take double my sleeping pills to avoid my nightmares.