KEPT

32. GOOD GIRL.

KHANYISA

When restlessness finally wins some time in the night I quietly get off the bed, slip on my gown then I walk over to the sliding door that leads to the balcony. I quietly go outside and close it behind me then I just stand by the railing and look up at the full moon like it carries some sort of solution or answers for me.

After Nkosi explained the whole situation to me I was left speechless and drained. Luckily he wasn't looking to have me answer or make decisions right then, he stayed true to his word, he just wanted to explain and explain he did.

I hug my gown tighter feeling the midnight breeze, normally it would calm me down but nothing is working for me at this moment

Everything is a mess, my book being stolen, everything Liyana has, Refilwe, this Miguel guy.

She's done me wrong, so wrong and I feel like she could have confided in Nkosi about Miguel and Refilwe. Instead of being the horrible person that she's been to me, instead of stealing my book but it's all done now. The damage has been done and Nkosi has left it in my hands to decide what I want to do.

He forwarded me the pictures of the chats and gave me the USB. It's all up to me now. I'd love nothing more than seeing Liyana, Refilwe and Kedirile pay for what they did, the tricky part?

If I act on it, Liyana will end up in jail, maybe not for stealing my book but because Refilwe will start singing and then things will go downhill fast. Then this Miguel  guy will come after her.

It's not even about Liyana only at this point. Could I really live with myself knowing that I led her to her death? Could I look my parents in law in the eyes and watch them suffer a loss of their daughter? What about Nkosi, would things still be the same or relatively close to normal for us? How could we ever be if something were to  happen to Liyana and the person who set off the chain of events being me?

I'm not trying to hurt anyone, I'm definitely not trying to get her killed either and with this mob boss mess that she's in, that's exactly what's going to happen if I focus on getting my own justice. My justice will come a price, at a cost... At Liyana's life.

I hate that through everything she's ever done to me, I'm here worrying about her safety. I do not want Nkosi to mourn his sister, does that make me weak? Maybe it does, Maybe I am but I don't see how I can ever look Ma in the eyes again and watch her suffer emotionally and not feel guilty, if it ever happened. It's a lot it's just too much...

Is this what's meant by "Making sacrifices" In a marriage? Is this it? worrying more about the people I hold dear to me than my own justice. Hating what Liyana did to me but Hating the thought of seeing Nkosi, my parents in law and her other brothers hurting at just the risk of losing her for good

I sigh and shut my eyes for a moment. It's a lot.

I hear the door slide and I slightly turn to see Nkosi walking towards me. I face back at moon then I feel the warmth of his presence on my back. He wraps his arms around me and presses my back on his bare chest

"I hate seeing you like this"

"There's not much we can do about it" I say lowly and I'm not just referring to my mood

"We will do whatever you want to do and it will be okay"

"It will be okay? Nkosi, can you honestly tell me that if I wake up tomorrow and go to the cops and Liyana ends up behind bars and everything we fear might happen actually happens then you'll still be able to look at me?" I ask and when he goes quiet I turn and look at him

" Tell me, Nkosiyabo. Will we still be okay? " I press on

" Mkami, I'm not going to go back on my word"