Lisa Rowe x fem

Choke

Ellie's POV:

Lisa got taken by them that night.
And I didn't care, I needed time to clear my head.
It didn't feel the same, it didn't feel right.
Why can't she love me?
I know she's attracted to me and I'm attracted to her but why can't she love me?
I see Lisa, her eyes are empty.

Nothing inside them.

Nothing for me? Nothing for me inside her eyes but emptiness.

She twitches when she walks into the room, I don't even want to think about how many times she's been shocked. I can't think about that or I'd feel sorry for her.

You both know your place, she doesn't need you, you don't need her.

And you most definitely are not going to beg her.

"Have fun?" I ask in a cocky tone. I watch her lay on her bed as her tear stained eyes close, almost not even acknowledging my presence.

"Damn you were shocked up good." I shut my book.
"Shut up." She smiles half asleep.

"How many times did they shock you" I say out loud and then she wakes up and groans.

"None of your business, shut up." She gets up.

"Look I'm sorry about the fight." I start to say.

"You know, you participated in the fight too, and you didn't get taken away? You've never gotten shocks. Hardly anyone has, I've been here for 8 years and hardly anyone else has gotten shocks. Im so fucking tired of this same shit. Susie and I were supposed to escape and even she said that my heart was unfixable." She looks at me like I'm not listening to her, like I'm crazy.

"What happened to Susie?" I ask.

"She didn't leave like my other best friend did, no. Susie left me because she got better. She didn't even visit after." She says.

"Just because she left doesn't mean she doesn't still need you, she could visit anytime this year." I suggest trying to see the brighter side.

"Oh so you're defending her? Why do I even tell you anything. Last I checked you left me to." She sits back down.

"Do you even care about anyone? Are you just using me? You don't want to admit you like me. It feels like I'm just arguing with a stranger that just wants me to keep them warm in a bed."
I raise my voice.

She goes silent.

"Lisa, answer me." I say.

"Come here." She looks up at me.

"What?"

"Just come here." She says again with nothing in her eyes. I can't help but feel bad for Lisa. Even though she does this to herself every time. Her own actions. It is her. That makes her like this.

I hesitate before I walk over to her, yes I'm still upset, no I don't care how much she thinks I need her, I don't. I don't want to need her.

As she grabs my waist and looks up at me I just stare back, who could ever deny Lisa Rowe of what she wants? I know I couldn't.

Even though I'm annoyed and upset I still look at her and something inside me still welcomes the hands on my waist like a breath of fresh air.

"Lisa, what are you doing?" I ask.

"I just want to hold you." She says with a cruel grin.
I sort of nod in response.
"I don't want to fuck you. I don't want to use you. I don't want to lie to you. I want to tell you the truth but I can't say it not now. I can't like you." This is a one time experience.
Her telling me the truth.
Even if I don't want to hear it.
Because I want her to say she loves me.

She pulls my waist and I fall against her, laying on the bed.
My head on her chest.

"Lisa" I say.

"Shhh I know." I her her mumble.

"But"

She stops me. "Hey, I can either hold you like this or you can go hold Daisy. Whichever is more appealing to you okay?" She gently caresses my waist.
My response is adjusting my head, not caring if it's very close to her chest. And I relish in the fact I'm sleeping on Lisa, just listening to her heartbeat.
Even if this is not how I wanted things to be. Not at all how I wanted this to go.