𝐀 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ━━ 𝗟𝗢𝗢𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗠 | ✓

04

❝ 𝙂𝙄𝙑𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙈𝙀 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙒𝙃𝙀𝙉 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘼𝙍𝙀 𝘿𝙊𝙒𝙉 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙉𝙀𝙀𝘿 𝘼𝙉𝙊𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙍 ❞

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ♡︎♡︎♡︎
I'M SO TIRED. Not just physically. Today was so emotionally and mentally draining that I just want to lay in bed for the next few weeks and cry myself to sleep or maybe just let the bedsheets eat me alive. I don't wanna get up from this bed anymore. I'm even writing this while laying down and it's pretty hard to do but whatever. I'm comfy with my position.

I don't even know why everything was so draining. Why everything was literally making me more tired and cranky and sad and whatever the fuck this is. I don't understand. I woke up feeling alright but when I got to school it's like the life was sucked out of me all of a sudden. Not even the fact that two of our classes were vacant today made me happy. I didn't even fight with anyone (I don't think anyone's gonna fight a nobody like me).

I'm just so tired for no reason. And Gun probably noticed that since he got me a tokayaki shaped plushie when we were going home together again. We stopped by an arcade and he played with the claw machine thingie and he gave me the plushie after. I asked him why he got me the takoyaki one and not all the other toys and he said it's because takoyakis normally have octopus in it.

I'm surprised he remembered that I like octopuses. But I shouldn't be since I always tell him that and I bring with me the octopus plushie that has the smiley face and the angry face everyday to school.

Oh, and when we were eating earlier at lunch, Gun removed all the beans for me in my rice. I guess he remembered that too.

As I've said before, get a Gun in your life.

Not only will you get someone to give you free plushies when you're upset, you'll get someone to remove your most hated food for you. Gun is so nice. I've already accepted the fact that I'll probably mention him so much in my diary entries. He's the only friend I have in school, not even Boyoung and I could be this close.

Boyoung probably only knows my name and my voice and not what I like, dislike, what I wanna do often, what I don't wanna do. I mean, how is she even gonna know when we were never that close?? We're just classmates and neighbours. That's really the only relationship we have.

Man, why am I such a lonely and miserable boy. It's like I'm not me today. Well, I don't even know how to describe the m e me. Do you get me? No. No you don't.

Anyway, it's been two or so months since I've had this diary. I've written a lot of things already and I could proudly say that even though I missed several days to write in it, I've amassed enough material to blackmail myself in the future.

I just remembered that I bumped into someone earlier while going to school. She had long hair, fair skinned, pretty, but she had this judgemental look on her face when she spoke to me. I don't even know what I did to offend her, I said sorry several times and she still looked mad.

She told me, and I quote, "Just because you're attractive doesn't mean you can just walk wherever you want. Watch where you're going."

MA'AM, I WAS GOING TO GET HIT BY A CAR?? OF COURSE I HAD TO MOVE CLOSER TO THE SIDEWALK OR ELSE I'D BE IN A DAMN HOSPITAL BED. SHE WAS SO MEAN.

And of course, me being me, I didn't know what to say so I just stammered out more apologies and tried to walk away. I hope to God I don't bump into her again or else I'll cry the second time. Or if I've got enough balls then I might tell her off if she gets the wrong idea again.

I'm also surprised she said I'm attractive because who on earth would find a being like me attractive? I mean probably the old ladies my mom keeps befriending so they'd partner me up with their granddaughters. But other than them? Eh, I don't know.

And before I forget, I just got Gun's number. Like after several months, he gave me his number. Actually, no. The scenario went like this.

I was just trying to solve a math problem in my notebook peacefully when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Of course I knew it was Gun since he was the only one I'm sitting next to, the other chair beside me was empty since the student that was assigned to sit there transfered last minute to another school, so it's been vacant since.

I waved a hand to Gun like as a sign telling him that I was busy and needed some time alone and I thought he went back to what he was doing but he actually just got out two phones and handed one to me.

Hello?? IT WAS AN IPHONE?? AND THE NEWEST ONE??

Of course. OF COURSE. This guy was rich. He obviously was. But I wasn't expecting him to just spend his money on me so carelessly.

Gun bought a phone for me that already had his number in it.

That's so sweet of him but also very concerning because why on earth would you do that??? I'm so confused but still very thankful because that shit is EXPENSIVE and I'm not going to waste it just like that.

I took the phone and my way of saying thank you to him is by clinging onto him the whole day and being extra nice and kind and friendly. Instead of being annoying, I made sure to keep everything peaceful for him and gave him one of the two keychains I bought before going to school.

It was a butterfly and a flower. I gave him the butterfly one since I really liked the flower keychain. It was so cute and elegant looking.

A single keychain already cost me hundreds of dollars since it was limited edition and had real gold on it. But since I really liked pretty things, I bought another one because it was a couple type keychain.

I'm very, very, very, very sleepy already. Goodnight, diary.

Today was 8/10 (still kept it high because Gun)

Okay, bye bye.